Xmas 2006

as usual, i come here to bitch. even i got nothing to bitch about nevertheless i just feel like it especially now. well it's christmas today and the whole country pretty much like a scene of town you see in silent hill movie, quiet, dull and lifeless. i guess everyone is at home, savouring alcoholic drinks and enjoying the foods with the company of their families regardless those they love or not. i suppose on this kinda day you just be together put aside what the feelings they have toward each other. feud and disagreement are totally whole different stories and christmas is here to be enjoyed not spoiled. pretty much like hari raya. sound fun. where am i while all this fun going on? home and alone. well i chose to stay at home this weekend although i did say i would go out somewhere and do something to make the most of my day off but when i got home last friday night somehow there was some invisible force like magnetic field that kept me grounded in my house.


god how i love to be home at last. my own room, my own space, my own bed and my own coffee machine. i missed them i know it's kinda sad just to say that and make it sound like those are real living people but reality are those just inanimate objects instead. nevertheless i guess that the fact i have been away for sometimes made me realize how i treasure the luxury of having my own comfort zone. hell i can walk around naked if i wanted too. i woke up late on saturday and it's nice to wake up without alarm clock screaming in your ear at 6 o'clock like it was this past 2 weeks. lay on my bed still covered by the duvet up to my neck thinking when should i get up and leave this warm little atmosphere inside the sheet. i kept lying tossing and turning on the wide double bed enjoying what i've been missing all the while smiling to the comfort i felt. argh, i can do this all day. unfortunately my empty stomach started to yell the churning sound demanding to be stuffed. and the timing couldn't get any better when siti texted inviting me over to her place as she just finished cooking nasi lemak. nasi lemak!! wo, i love my bed and sleep but no way i was going to pass that. i love nasi lemak and my mouth just flooded with my spit as i typed this. i got up and finally made it to siti's a little over two hours later. well i had to make a cup of coffee for myself after getting up which is a daily ritual for me and as i was ready to have my shower i found out that the boiler was indeed turned off so i had to wait for almost 30 minutes for the water to be at perfect temperature for me to shower, don't ask i am that anal. that's why it took a bit longer for me to get to siti's besides town was mad and packed with people who were doing their last minute shopping and that doubled the length of time needed to me to get to siti's . anyway i made it and fullamak the nasi lemak was awesome! loved it, loved it and loved it! way to go siti! we talked and hung out over a couple rounds of coffee which i bought from insomnia. great coffee i must say. we saw a movie "brick" i rented from extravision, it was okay, kinda slow but the story is good. about drugs and teenagers and all the troubles they caused. how did they manage to go through high school with these kinda problems are beyond me, if indeed they happen but then again i'm not surprised if they did happen. at that age i was still struggling with the academics without all these extracurricular stuff. frankly didn't have time to think about it all, well i was a nerd, maybe it happened but i was too oblivious to even notice it. i went home a little after 12 because i was so sleepy and tired for some reasons even though i was still in bed less than 10 hours before that. guess the residual exhaustion from the previous weeks started to catch up on me. i went straight to bed and slept like a baby as soon as i lay my head on the pillow.


nothing much on sunday. meant to go to cork but i was too lazy to leave the house besides i woke up late again and the day almost over so i decided to just chill out at home tidy my place. then comes today and the whole day i've been dreading for these coming week. i'll be working tomorrow and on call then another call on friday then on sunday the 31st, supposedly the busiest day for business in my field. thank god i'm finishing in the morning of january 1st and god knows how impatient i am now to get there. can hardly wait! urghhhh i hate this moment and i hate this week already. hope tomorrow will be easy and so will the next day and the next day till sunday. wishful thinking!

hmm......(sigh)

I started to get used to getting around this place. Although it only has been less than a week I have to be extremely quick at adapting to what’s going on around me. I guess that’s the only way for me to survive this mediocre existence. Living out of a suitcase like this frankly is a very exhausting life and even more depressing. Oh god! You have no idea how miserable my life is right now. Completely alone in a place that is alien to me with none of the faces you meet seem remotely familiar. To make matter worse the job that I’m doing right now is not something that I fond of, in fact the one I’d wished I didn’t get at all. I remember last Tuesday when I got the text about the job, I was thinking sure I can just answer perhaps they wouldn’t even pick me all the while hoping that other people might answer to the advertisement and got chosen. After I hung up with the agency it occurred to me what am I gonna do if they do want me to fill in the job? Shit! I shouldn’t have called them in the first place to tell them I was interested. A few hours later my cell rang and medical admin office was on the other end of the line. Damn! Damn! Damn! I had to honour my words, told them I was going to come then there was nothing to be said but to pack my stuff. In about 2 hours after the call I received I was on the road dreading about the next few weeks ahead of me and keep wishing I hadn’t pick up my phone and answer that ad. I don’t like to think of myself as a stupid person but most of the time you have no idea what a complete idiot I am, really! Got my life to prove it. Anyway a week has gone and 2 more weeks left with 4 on-calls waiting in line. I just have to ignore inner cry and suffering and just look up to the finishing line. Thank god I will be off for Christmas and god knows how I’m going to make most of it!