It’s almost 3 am but my eyes are still wide open as if it were 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Probably the delayed caffeine effect from a cup of coffee I had earlier at Leia’s maybe about 5 hours ago. Perhaps I might have caught Ema’s insomnia bug. I couldn’t wait to get home on the way back from a weekend in Cork yet again just to be rushing to my bed, quite to my surprise I just couldn’t bring my eyes to sleep when I was home. So here I am, blogging, to tell you the truth I have no idea what I want to write at this very moment, nevertheless I just let my thought flowing without forcing too much looking for stuff to talk about.
I did some work last week, finally for a change. I really liked it, the place, the bosses and the environment despite a little painful experience I encountered with one the colleagues. It amazed me how some people who I met throughout my 28 years of living had really terrible attitudes and temperaments that left me wishing how I would like to never meet these people in the first place and to never ever meet them in the future. Well I guess there always going to be people like this anywhere. I’m talking about people who are manipulative, dishonest, rude, inconsiderate and selfish. Those with virtues the complete opposite to these unfortunately always end up as the victims. Since it’s a team effort, the defects somehow blinded by the good outcomes owing to extra hard work by the good team members compensating the incompetent ones. How I loathe to this, the injustice and unfairness of it all. To our bosses’ eyes everything is in order. The baddies got away and still manage to get a job in the next job cycle. What else can I do? How I wish these people would just make a mistake and learn their lessons. I don’t want to get into any details as to what should happen to these people but just so you know I’m really bitter and really furious over this. To hell with them.
Anyway I managed to grab some perspectives after getting a little bit worked up over this matter. The week flew rather swiftly and next thing I know people were all being nice and saying goodbyes to me. That’s nice, ain’t got no complaint about that. At the same time I just realized this week in particular that how I miss my job. I keep giving out that I hate this profession I landed myself on but truth is when I asked myself what else would I like to do, I simply cannot find the answer. As to whether I’d be happy doing something else again who knows? Maybe I would or maybe I wouldn’t. Would I risk everything to find the answer to these questions, I don’t think I would be that courageous or have the guts to venture into something uncertain like that. Risky business indeed. Perhaps I have been so tuned into medicine since you know, 6 years of medical school and the subsequent 4 years into the job surrounded by no one else but medical colleagues I have become like institutionalized inmates for being in prison for too long that would have trouble even to imagine how their lives would be outside the walls. I guess I’m destined for this. I’m too far ahead to go back and kind of too late to start anew. Looks like I’m going to be here for quite some time and I’d better make the most of it. I just hope there’ll be light at the end of this really long tunnel.
I came to Cork on last Saturday just passed, since Sri’s mom was leaving for home on Sunday I guess I’d better make an appearance after all I had been to the house one too often that I started to feel like she is apart of the gang and I can’t let her go home without saying goodbye. We had the usual feast on that night, the dishes were fantastic and although there were sushis and other Japanese cuisines on the menu it still the rice and ayam masak merah with kari kepala ikan I was after. Malay foods are the best!!!! Nothing much out of the ordinary happened over the next day, we went to the airport and Mahon Point after that. Whilst the others shopping, the Frantas, Mas and me went to watch The Night Listener at the movies. It was borderline between crap and just ok movie. I like Toni Collette and I always find her as such a good actress, she was good in this. I was hoping for something big for its finish but the end made the movie rather flat and bleak. Nonetheless the storyline was interesting. I came home later which was only a few hours ago. I’m feeling tired which is quite unusual for me considering the magnitude of the activities I’ve done over the past days, usually it takes more to make me feel beat like this but still I couldn’t sleep. I guess I’d better leave it here and hopefully not too long from now I would be dreaming like everyone else at this hour.
