dari kokdiang ke tralee.......

YES we when to tralee last week people , and yes we again had fun ( as usual). And again , THAT certain someone beat me to have the entry up first (%^&%&!). Initially wanted to blog at 1230 am today , but was too tired after the trip from tralee, so postponed it till this morning , konon-konon nak bangun awailah ( read: 645am) , apa harapan, bukak mata , tengok jam pukul 810am, when at 830am i’m surposed to be at the ophthalmology department CUH……pecah hati aku macam kene gilis tractor 50 tan.

picture : bukit nie syaz kata macam tetek .....yes shaz , betul macam tetek , tapi kecik jer, kene pakai push up bra
picture : lepas penat bawak kereta at TRalee General , tunggu ariri

picture: syaz kalau naik kereta mesti se!nyap jer, kalau tegur jer mesti kene marah , kalau tidak MABUK

So alkisahnyer berlarilah aku macam orang gila (yes people ORANG GILE); ker CUH tuh dengan baju serta gigi tak gosok, muka tak basuh, tahi mata berbukit-bukit, tahi idung berbondong-bondong , mandi pon tak, cume sempat sembur minyak wangi jer dua tiga picit and tabor minyak rambut sket jer untuk maintain hansem. And obviously, being the COMMOTION QUEEN I am , yours truly almost created scene kat WILTON roundabout on its most peak-est hour while trying to cross the road towards CUH, nasib baik tak kene langar lori sampah, kene hon jer ..….tu pon malu giler…sebab kereta-kereta kat belakang sume tengok . Mase kat outpatients otak aku siap melayang lagi terpikirkan nasib aku kalau aku kene langar dengan lori sampah tadi , tragis sangat kalau kene langar lori sampah, kalau lori biaser at least mulia-lah sikit ….. dahlah tak mandi, pakai seluar dalam semalam lak tuh- so tak macho and tak hansem ( maklumlah muka construction-sebab tak mandi)……. talk about being clutzy, baru arituh mengutuk Dr. Horgan, a certain SPR….padan muka hah…amik kau!!!!!!!.

picture : rumah on the way to tralee, very irish

Well anyway , the trip to tralee seemed forever, lame giler rasenyer nak sampai. The only plus point on that particular Saturday was the weather, which was brimming with life, cerah giler. The trip was fun and as usual we had our mobile kareoke session on the car. Its been a while since I last made my way to tralee. The view, I would have to say was superb as the weather was great . We arrived around 1 pm at Tralee General Hospital. The hospital was so hospital like ( memanglah-kan, name pon hospital), kampong giler!!!!!!

Picture : siti eagerly waiting for the mee ber sos, sampai tergigit jari

Sebelum sampai , banyak jugaklah plan yang nak dibuatnyer kat Tralee-kan (read : AQUADOME, WAYANG) tapi as usual E n Ariri’s ’ house was too comfy, so we literally spent the next whole 2 days IN the house watching 16 hours of a Korean movie, sang our hearts out to a Sudirman kareoke CD, watched a Siti Nurhaliza konsert , eat spaghetti like there was no tomorrow and fussed over a motion detector in the house-yes people, we actually spent about 30 minutes in the hallway checking out the accuracy and the sensitivity of the system ( an electronic engineer, one medical SHO, one surgical SHO, one obgyn SHo, and one totally clueless med student- the other med student was in the toilet-berak). We were also entertained by Comel , E’s cat who urinated in the middle of the dapur sebab takut ( hmmmm, tak taulah aku nak cakap macam mane).

PICTURE : paan trying to demonstrate how sensitive the motion detector was ( time spent on the tangga = 4 hours)

And ya ,not to forget my harrowing ordeal of dealing with Shaz’s and Siti’s calls to go jogging pagi-pagi buta on Sunday (ME of all people bangun on Sundays TO JOG –That’s like asking me to go play soccer in the evenings dengan Aberina and budak-budak 96 – SO Won’t happen….wekekekekekekeke ). For some reason, suara Siti ( as in Kathy Ibrahim, not Siti Nurhaliza ) is still like in my head. If she was trying to get me out of bed, YES did she succeed so well in doing it ( dah lame kepale aku tak kene cabut and kene campak dari bangunan setinggi 17 tingkat while at the sametime kene langgar dengan kereta emma )

picture: mosh tumbuh kat tepi couch , and siti and paan watching the korean movie

Well in anyways siti shaz, thanx anyway sebab ajak aku….banggalah jugakkan !!!!! Continue on Siti , nasib baik tak jatuh dalam tali air kat tralee n tidak buat scene lak….you go girl!!...skit skit lame lame jadi bukit!!!! To shaz and siti ….. let me cherish my still active metabolic system while its still functioning at full steam…wekekekeke ( ketawa evil ), nanti bila dah stop, aku join korang, jangan risau tak lame stoplah tuh ( approaching 25) .

In anyways, ape yang aku dengar hari Sunday , konon-kononyer emmarina nak balik awai lah kan , tapi ape harapanlahkan , semuanyer sebab cerita korea tuh , Syaznay ‘Keenyah’ Louis macam telekat kat couch biru E tengok cerita itu, MOSH pon tumbuh skali kat tepi couch tuh , macam telekat lak dua orang tuh. The kareoke session was also intresting this week , as for once it had substance. Kalau tidak melalak jer without any meaning. Aku macam almost burst into a hysterical laugh bile Paan and Mosh crooned ‘AKU PENGANGGUR’ by sudirman ( yes PEOPLE, sooooo-lah meaningful). Mosh sang the song so-lah bersemangat that Siti’s calls for Sushi from Yamamori and a Kitchen Aid macam di-gerhana-kan. Takpe, siti usaha-lagi , never give up!!!!!

Betul cakap paan , cepat jugak masa berlalu, kelip kelip mata jer 2 pompuan and 4 laki berkinje-kinje cam orang giler melompat-lompat kat depan rumah E at 1030pm on Sunday night . Konon-kononnyer nak buat adegan lompat-lompat and lari lari lah kan ….wekekekkeke…tapi best jugaklah….well-well okaylah aku rase sampai kat sini jer aku-nyer entry, maklumlah, entry yang ditunggu-tunggulah katekan …pressure aku dibuatnyer……….

well all and all , seronok gaklah, the whole thing was a laugh indeed............

a weekend in tralee

What can I say, I just had a great time over the weekend in tralee. A good entertainment , company and good foods (I must say) by excellent hosts – so E and ariri, looking forward to the next one hahahahaha. Despite the trip back and fro, my goodness, the road!!!! (When I thought it can’t be any worse) it all worth it at the end. My company I travelled with and moi reached tralee at noon, just perfect timing for lunch and since we never been to the house, ariri had to pick us up. Where else could be the meeting point but the hospital, besides that’s the only place that I know in tralee. Damn!!! the hospital’s admin might have known this meeting point business goin on under their noses and clever enough to charge anyone who uses the parking space. Whatever happens to generosity and selflessness in people these days?! Hell I will not pay for the parking so we just have to adapt and be a little Irish (lil bit more than usual) – park and wait on the double line…….shit I live here long enough they hardly noticed I’m foreign anymore and we in Kerry for god’s sake!!! Ariri came and we headed to his house and collecting asyik and co. on the way.
At the house, nice one by the way, vely flesh woo, nasi dagang was on the table. Perfect!!!! We jumped straight into the opportunity to stuff our stomachs. Boyoboy what a dish!! I’m not that familiar with this kinda meal as I’m from the beautiful and thriving state of Johor. However I managed to finish 3 plates at one seating, no wonder my weight keep going up, damn appetite!!!! I didn’t sit for just one round my friend. Good food.
That very night I thought we were going to the movies as I was saying the last time I ever went to the movies was, bila ek? Maybe 4 weeks ago, narnia and whatever with the lion and the thingy, lots of options of movies to see for late shows. Guess what, we didn’t go……..as usual and we ended up singing karaoke till maybe 1 or 2 am. How could I say no to karaoke, just not strong enough. Good laugh, enjoyed every second of it, we layan sudirman and m nasir songs, surprisingly I know quite a few of the talented late sudirman’s songs, just never realized it, simple words but meaningful. We had the most fun I guess when we sang hoore, hoore. Brought back memories when we were just a bunch of 7 or 8 years old back in the good ole 80’s. shit we’re old!! Before that we watched siti nurhaliza’s concert in royal albert hall in London, damn that girl can sing!!!!! But she kinda holding back during the show, well maybe it would be different if I was there to see the live performance, but have I said that girl can really sing!!!! And pretty too. I fell in love with one of her songs apparently it WAS a hit back home I don’t know a few years ago, entitled “percayalah”, good melody and the way she sang it, so easy and effortlessly but her voice just captivating….this song kept playing over and over and over and over again a few more times in my head since last night even as we speak. Haunted by the song but I don’t mind siti , for you whateva…………percayalah (hahahahaha) I mean it though
The next morning, or noon rather I woke up, after a very exhausting night. I was surprised that syaz, ct k and mosh actually went jogging, for 5 km!!! man they were really motivated, it was a good day anyway. Where was I? on the couch sleeping in my shirt and khaki’s pants which by the way torn and exposing my right butt, thank god I decided to where something underneath the pants hahahaha. Had fried rice for breakfast and from that point on, I didn’t think we ever stop eating since then. To make thing worse I mean the eating part, we got hooked up on this Korean siries - only you. It’s annoyingly addictive, it’s a love story between a chef and

restaurateur so it has lots of foods in it particularly pasta (Italian restaurant). Go figure, we had pasta for dinner and fried chicken ala KFC. (nice one ariri –mintak resepi kau). I don’t even remember how many times I had to go the little boy’s room to make space for other incoming batches of foods. We managed to see 9 out 16 cds, each runs for about 60 minutes on average, pretty good eh? Took a break for another session of talent show-off ie karaoke in between the cds then left for cork at 2300 hrs. but not before we went wild with taking our picture outside the house, what a commotion!!! Felt the weekend just swiftly flew right in front of us. Although we stayed indoor most of the time except for the athletic 3, I enjoyed it very much. Well it would be much better if leia and honza could make it, wish that she had. So I’m sure I will get so much of this “mak datuk panjangnyer” or “ dia tulis takder comma or full stop macam bila dia cakap” later, anyway I just like to thank the academy for…..berangan ler tu, seriously thanks ariri and E for the great weekend and guys yg datang, really good company, and leia, sure we’re gonna plenty more event like these in the future.

Releksla brader!...or sister

Assalamualaikum
First of all kenapa ko tension sangat ni Lia releksla...I don't think in my post aku ade specifically blame sesape or ask for an explanation...And my intention is not to blame anyone....I was just bitching because I dont like things like this to happen and I dont want it to happen again. Aku baru nak melahirkan rasa tidak puas hati pon tak buleh ke? Kata blog ni buleh tulis ape2...Besides korang pun admit sendiri things like this selalu and aku slalu dengarla jugak although most of the time indirectly involved except this time jadi so takde orang nak bitch about it might be the time for someone to hightlight this problem. And to say that before ni ade org lambat la kensel la and use that as an excuse to do it again to me is not acceptable....I have to disagree with that although aku tau menda ni payah ni dibuang lagi2 org melayu....aku pun pernah buat tapi still one cannot make that as an excuse to do it again....
Besides yg patut tensionnya org2 yg datangla kot. Tak paham sekejap aku. Macam ni la try to put yourself in the shoes of the ppl who was there....so that anger tu aku letak kat dalam blog ni tu je....Im sure sesapa yg tak datang tu ade valid reasons (wallahua'lam). I just hope that this thing tak jadi lagi macam ni well kalau terjadi jugak jgnla dengan aku. So jgn tension2, marah2 (without no reason, macam aku ade reason takpe:P).
Well again this post bukan nak mengapi2kan ape yg terjadi semalam just hightlighting problem with our group : punctuality and reliability. Biasa2 pon mmg la takde ape menda2 ni tapi biasa2 ape pon kita buat setakat jumpa2 kat rumah, makan2....so lambat sejam? 2 jam? No big deal...but start from there pastu lambat jumpa kat coffee shop still no big deal sometimes unless time constraint.....Yesterday main bowling....kalau seronok main sorang2 dah lama aku main....yesterday's event kena ade org baru seronok....Im sure kalau ramai turnup mana2 satu dua yg tak datang tu will not be missed at all...tapi nak jadi cerita ramai plak tak datang...so jadila cerita...
Dahla aku harap takde org komen lagi pasal menda ni lepas ni....Hopefully tak jadi lagi...less likely kot nak jadi dah since Lia pon dah tak nak join dah....hehehehhehe...releksla Lia gurau aje...relekskan muscle leher ko tu jgn tegang sangat....tarik nafas....jumpa aku nanti jgnla buat tak tau aje atau jeling...aku report afiq kang aku hasut dia jgn pegi kat ko lagi baru tau...

this is too much for me. i don't even think it's my fault!! and to think the many times aku bengang nak mampos tunggu org, terpaksa kensel bende sbb plans r changed, etc, but i try not to BITCh abt it(until now). for one i didnt knw the plan was on, certainly as hell didnt know it was at 9!, two, i did tell paan i wasnt going coz by the time aku tahu it was 830pm and obviously aku tak ready, so yes, i DID tell someone i wasnt going. and i dont knw wht difference it made tht aku sorang takde. though i really want to apologise to agee. =<
pas ni aku taknak join ler apa2. not worth the abuse.

keyword - MISCOMMUNICATION!!!!!!!

well guys what can i say, to me this was a very minute tiny matter bak kata bondaku tersayang "tak jadi kudis pon"(tone makcik-makcik membebel). as much as i like to point my fingers to put the blame on certain people coz it is indeed excruciatingly fun it just occured to me that it just not worth it. this thing unfortunately happens all the time, does this make it right? definitely not, but in this small group of people we learn to forgive each other and ignore each other's vices ie punctuality issue, last minute change of hearts etc. i guess for some people who socialising all the time esp those bujang2 folks, this was not a big deal since it happened rather frequently however i totally understand where abe comes from with the anger and frustration. the poor cuddly guy was busting his ass in the past few weeks in preparation of his recent exam and it just natural this guy teruja nak socialising and looking forward to the fun that night. it didn't happen so i totally can see the reason behind his reaction, to make matter worse, it's hard to actually travel around with young kids luckily afiq was in such a good mood as always. my heart goes out to agee ler for minding aqilah tak leh buat apa might as well she stayed at home. the root for this problem is just miscommunication as with any relationship and friendship problems, considering we've been together and been doing a lots of activities together, event such as last night rarely happens so we practically in good shape, aren't we? bottomline is SHIT happens and despite our cutting edge mobile phones and cars, last night event was meant to happen, so what should we do? learn from our mistakes and evaluate ourselves aka muhasabah rather than blaming others and fail to recognize the real underlying issues. so guys let's kiss and make up umuah umuah!!!!!! apa-apa pun this should bring us much closer together since we only have each other in this foreign land, kalau kat malaysia pigi mampuih sama korang, hahahaha, nah just messing guys. see you this afternoon and u guys better be kissing and hugging ..........................

erk abei marah. ye mungkin aku bersalah gak le. tapi aku takde la rasa bersalah sgt, sbbnya aku tak sangka langsung bowling ni on. sbb sampai kul 8 tu senyap sunyi, so aku call la Syaz tanya nak buat apa malam ni. tup tup dia kata diorg tgh siap nak main bowling. eh? time tu aku plak terasa bengang sbb sapa pon tak cakap kat aku pukul berapa etc.(maybe tak make sense la aku bengang kat sini sbb boleh je aku yg angkat tepon awal2 tanya jadi ke tak, pukul berapa, bla bla..tapi aku pompuan i'm allowed to be unlogically sensitive). maybe aku tak rasa benda ni(bowling) serious2 akan jadi PERCISELY because sebab2 yg abei list tu. because we always CHANGE OUR PLANS, BE LATE or whatever. i HONESTLY didnt knw this bowling was ON sampai la pukul 8 bila call Syaz, n by the time aku dah buat plan lain (+ a little bit tawar hati nak gi). I'M SORRY GUYS!!!!
btw, mas n syaz tak gi ke?

eventful night 2

well guys....what can i say? nak tergelak gak aku baca blog yg abe tulis.aku pun kira bengang jugak.so kalau aku begang ,maknanye abe 20-30 kali ganda begang. anyway,thanks for the ayam kfc. abe meyesal jugak tak dtg mkn hehhehee.next time kalau ada apa2 aku nak dtg last skali lepas smua org dah dtg.yg paling aku kesian kat ajie le.dahle tak buat apa2 setakat pegang aqilah sambil tengok abe n uncle main snooker 4 i hour.kalau mcm tu baik dia duduk umah tido or tolong kak toh kemas beg ak balik mesia.at least aku dpt mkn ayam kfc. so ema memang tak rugi apa2 pun n tak yah le nak frust sbb tak dpt join sbb oncall.aku rasa kitaorg yg berada di tpt tersebut lagi tension.nak mengharapkan sorang lagi dtg lagile tension.aru nak mandi ..masa tu dah kul 10.45pm.apa harapan....ok guys thats all for now.drpd aku membebel lagi baik aku tengok desperate housewives.....see u guys in tralee

'Eventful' Night

Aku tulis blog ni pasal nak meluahkan rasa marah.Kenapa aku marah?Biasala dengan org2 Melayu ni kalau berjanji either tak tunaikan janji tu terus atau buat tak sepenuhnya. Aku pon rasa aku pernah gak buat macam tu tapi aku akan try avoid atau at least aku akan mintak maaf la kot. Dan rasanya jugak lama dah aku tak buat menda macam ni ie mungkir janji dan seangkatannya so justifyla kot aku nak marah ni.
Main bola kalau berjanji pukul 10am pukul 11am barula tercegat 4-5 muka.Tapi nak elaborate pasal bola dalam blog ni aku sorang je kot main bola so tak relevant.Dan ini membawa kita ke peristiwa malam ni.
Mulanya Uncle ajak aku sefamily main bowling malam ni. Ramaila jugak diajak dengar katanya.Janji pukul 9.Aku pon mengenangkan lama tak bersosial and tgh cuti plak tu pon terujala nak join. Aku mulanya 8.15pm tu tido pasal penat. Terpaksala bangun 9pm pasal dah janji. Sampai2 takde org.Well org adela tapi bukan member2 yg diharapkan.Tunggula aku ni ngan family aku. Nasib baikla si Afiq ni dah tido yelah nak prepare datang so takla cranky sangat. Dah dekat 45 minit aku tunggu sempatla main menda2 kat situ, Afiq pon khusyuk main steering kereta sampai tak nak kena angkat barula nampak Paan. Lepas tu munculla Uncle and family. Lepas tu ade la kot awek2 Irish datang. So dari berapa ramai yg diajak dalam 5 adult 2 infants datang. Tolak 2 org nak jaga each baby tinggal 3. Aku datang tu nak main snooker sebenarnya so tolak Uncle tinggal la Paan sorang2 nak main bowling.
Kalau nak membebel nak marah aku rasa tak cukup kot blog ni so aku make it simple. Lain kali nak ajak aku or family aku something please jangan ajak lagi kalau tak serious. Teringin pon jangan pasal nanti it will remind me of tonight's event. Aku tak kisah tapi aku kesiankan org2 yg ade anak dan anak2 tersebut. Agee duduk pegang anak dia tgk aku main snooker ngan Uncle for 1 hour. Sri plak nasib baik la ade org ajak dia (and Paan) mungkinla atas rasa bersalah datang ke rumah diaorg for supper. Asalnya nak pegi Tribes tapi I dont know/dont want to know what happened. It is probably convenient utk org2 bujang just like that decide nak pegi ke tak nak pergi. Even kalau yg dah pergi kalau dia bujang he/she can go somewhere else just like that tak payah pikir pasal anak nak tido ke. So please la kalau nak buat plan ngan org2 yg ade family at least follow up and dont just assume org tak nak pergi. Busuk2 pon bagitaula takleh pergi.Tak guna la ade Nokia ke Samsung ke 3G ke kalau setakat nak menayang.
Remember what comes around goes around. Mungkin korang tak paham kenapa aku membebel tapi one day when it happens to u then you'll know. So sorryla kalau aku anti-social. Events like this yg buat aku lagi jadi anti-social.

isn't he a cutie!!!!!!

fellas, this boy has a innate talent to posse and such a friendly little guy i think he may have a shot in the commercials business, i bet he can sell anything!!!!! don't you think?

massimo chocolissimo latte and afiq the posser

it's been a while since anyone wrote something in this blog, wonder why. maybe nomadic lifestyle wouldn't allow the regular bloggers known as kingkong and coffeeaddict sufficient time to jot down their entries and i started to know how it feels. well of late i kinda adopting this itnerant method of living and so far it suits me ( should i be worried?) .
so today, i went to 2 costa coffeehouses, yes i find it hard to believe myself, not sure if i should mention it at all but what the heck. one in blackpool and another in douglas. i think around 12 noon today i went to the former with E and the husband, Ariri. the plan was to meet the rest of the available "gangmembers," those who either unemployed, on holidays or student who cutting his or her classes at the named coffeeplace unfortunately there was a, god knows what it was, a contenna in the middle of the road en route to our destination, just happened when we passed through the road and we practically one of the few cars around at the time. apparently the 'thing' which was at least the size of my previous bedsit (should any of you remember) fell off the long trailer when it went through a rather sharp corner. in costa we managed to finish our massimo chocolissimo latte while waiting for those guys who suppose to be there maybe around 30 minutes after we arrived. then it all made sense, the traffic was so bad, as a result of that fallen 'thing' and they got hold up, damn! just before i was about to give out for keeping us waiting that long then came this annoyingly good excuse!!! sri came up with a better plan, "let's meet up at the other costa in douglas".
i got no objection besides i got enough time to squeeze this meeting in between my 'hectic' schedules. the moment i got to costa, there he was the little sweet devil "afiq" looking at me with the most adorable face, so cute i almost ate him!!!! you know what for some reasons he was in this posser mode and he actually really good at it i must say, then the photoshoot session commenced, here are some samples from his latest portfolio. (informed consent for displaying these precious pictuires obtained)

there are so many things to tell that happened in the past few weeks and i don't know where to begin. hope i still remember those precious moments when the time comes and i'm inspired to write as i'm not gifted to have the talent to do that unlike some people ( you better watch your back you leia the ranting rambler!!!!) oh well who cares nobody's gonna read this anyway. (then why do i bother writing i wonder?)

"You're just blowing my mind again"

Darn, i thought i would be the first of probably many many entries about this particular event, but Paan beat me to it...oh well.
So we went to the James Blunt gig. And what a show it was! He played in a cowshed, as he reminded us over and over again, acknowledged by the audience by various pitches of mooing sounds.
Before Mr.Blunt started his set, which was apparently the first night of his 9-months long world tour(!), his opening act was this Alanis-haired (of the Jagged Little Pill era) cutesy of a lass from Jersey, England. She was a cross between Tori Amos and Sarah McLachlan with some Jewel thrown in. Her songs were good, and she played her instruments well. But i thought her set was a bit too long.
Then we had to wait for the soundcheck for ages before JB took the stage. it was quite boring, especially when we were all quite hypoglycaemic from missing dinner. at one point we even thought the lighting guy who climbed all the way to the ceiling was JB (in fairness he had the same hairstyle and built).
The concert kicked off with Billy. He was pitch-perfect, and the band played awesome. And did he look hot! His set list consists of all the songs from Back to Bedlam, with You're Beautiful done as an encore together with a brilliantly covered Pixies' Where is My Mind. I liked the No Bravery performance the best. it was done with James on the piano, a single spotlight on him, with a projector of warzones in the background. it was a powerful performance. the crowd was properly hushed. He alsoplayed this new(?)song, i don't know the title but it has the phrase 'I really want you' repetitively in the chorus. this song is definitely a candidate to be a next big hit for JB.
It was indeed an amazing performance by Mr. Jmaes Blunt.

concert time!!!

went to james blunt concert in glens arena in millstreet, what a trip, thought we never gonna reach the venue, none of us knew where it was and the road man, more or less like the road to mersing from kota tinggi, terribly dark and it doesn't seem like there is a town somewhere at the other end of the road but finally we got there. not many people were there compared to the size of venue when we arrived but when the concert began it was full house. the verdict- brilliant show. the opening act i didn't quite get her name, was good, she's pretty as well. the voice and performance were brilliant, she is a rising star. performance by mr blunt himself, superb! such an effortlessly but amazing performance, he sounds better singing live than in the cd, never thought that was possible but indeed it was true for his case. the band was great the music played flawlessly . i enjoyed it very much, worthy all the cents spent. such a great singer and a natural in my opinion. apparently this was the first venue of his 2006 world tour concert and kicked start in cork? i wonder why of all the places. nevertheless it was such an awesome show and enjoyed every minute of it. i drove from limerick earlier this afternoon and felt really disinterested to go to the concert and leia was right i really had a great time tonight. in the car on the way home, we listened to "back to the bedlam" album but this time it sounds differently somehow as the live performance we saw earlier definitely had brought up james blunt from just a singer whose album i put on to kill time while in the car into an extremely talented performer whose future album i highly anticipated.

Door Bell!!

Salam and greetings kengkawan semua.

This is our first editorial together dalam blog nih. 1st of many hopefully. NAk citer lah...kita postcall... walaupun kat Erinville (supposedly busy) tapi kiter tidur dari pukul 23.00 sampai kul 7.30 best betul. Tapi kita terkejut2 juga sampai 3 kali check bleep berbunyi ker idak. Ish ish ish camtulah kan, sleeping but anticipating some kinda commotion.
Anyway, Kiter nak cherita, rumah kita dah ada DOORBELL!!
So lepas ni bulehlah kengkawan semua tekan ding dong ding dong gitu! Doorbell kat luar rumah kita warna putih, button kelabu, as seen on picture, ok. Jgn tersalah tekan loceng pulak. (walaupun jiran belum letak bell lagi)

Oh...Ikita nak compliment all the chefs for 'Turkey Day' at SriAbe's house on New Year's day. Yummy yummy sedap! Buatlah lagi hehehehe (but not turkeylah....). Kita nak congratulate Emma (and Mas and myself) for her newly acquired (mostly needed, well deserved) slingbag.... cun gitu! So you girl!

Ok, lastly Paan, are you in Cork this Sunday? If you are, bulehlah makan nasi goreng belachan reramai.

ps.....Lia...selamat bergumbira! psst psst nudge nudge

Couches

sebenarnyer banyak yang aku nak blog dan nak merapu, berikut hanyalah satu rapuan sahaja...

Hmmmmmm, dah hari sabtu dah, as I was telling sri yesterday, kalau nak menyesal dah arinie tak guna, studying this few days ( sabtu, ahad, isnin) won’t make any difference anyway, baik aku nyesal ari isnin, barulah berbaloi mnyesal aku kan???? Sementara itu, biarlah diri ini bersuka-ria bagai nak rak, lagi pun exam tak der dalam mase terdekat nie…wekekkeke.

Well anyway , entry nie berkenaan dengan cuti aku dua minggu nie yang I ould say is interesting, sebab memang aku cuti tahap maksima. Sempena cuti kali ini , I made my way to almost every persons house, including pergi limerick DUA kali tuh!!!! Kagum aku dengan diri aku …..

At least dapatlah aku merase hidup ala-ala kaum travellers-lah kan , from one house to one house ….berikut adalah list rumah-rumah yang sempat aku melabuh bontot:

Rumah paan
Rumah leia
Rumah Oni ( 2malam)
Rumah Emmarina
Rumah Sri

Sempat jugaklah aku merase pakai scrub serta menghabiskan beras di rumah-rumah terbabit ( evil siot-wekkekekekekeke)

Sleeping at each house, I got a chance to sample each house’s couch. Badan aku nie dah terase macam bentuk couch-lak. I would have to say, of all the houses, Apartment 29’s couch was the best , as it was either plush or memang berpuaka. The colour of the couch was red, thus complementing the surroundings which was white in nature. White colour, is the colour of melatonin containing substances, like milk which induces the sleep centre in the midbrain, hence leading to sleep. On top that , the pillows were ‘empuk’ and the main 2 seater was human size.

Emmarina’s couch on the other hand was okay, the surface was a little on the cold side, hence anyone sleeping on it would need sort of a throw on it first. Sri’s couch….hmmm, was not bad a well, I suppose due to wear and tear effect ( apelagi sri, tahun depan couch baru) , couch tuh jadi makin sedap, there are certain areas yang tak rata, so kalau tido, sengetlah sikit badan. Oni’s couch on the other hand, was brand new! So keraslah sikit, rase cam tidor kat atas lantai , but it was okay. Leia couch….hmmmmmmm, okaylah, not bad, cuma tak muat badan aku....

All in all I would like to thank-you everyone who was kind enough to accommodatE aku and thus let me menjalankan research nie….wekekekekekkekekekekeke ( ketawa evil)

nicely written

found this while blog hopping just now- nicely written by a mom of 2 suffering from mesothelioma


This are my recaps of 2005......
January: I never realized what was coming a head this year. My life changed in an instant.

February: I found out I had Mesothelioma. It's a rare cancer caused by Asbestos. I flew to
Singapore for my PET Scan. Came back and started off with 6 rounds of my chemotherapy.

March-April-May-June-July: I was in and out of the hospital doing my chemotherapy. Mid July flew to Singapore for PET Scan and Sydney for 2nd Opinion.

End July - August: My family and I flew to Sydney. My life changed. August 2nd: I went through a radical major surgery called "pleuropneumonectomy" where they took out my right lung, right pleura, right diaphragm and lining of the heart. I am now left with one lung. I am still breathing and will keep on breathing till my last breath.

This is my fate and I have accepted it with an open heart. I am not afraid of my fate. There is always a reason for everything that happens in our lives. We move on and learn through our past. We learn to forgive and accept the past. We learn about how our life is precious. We learn to be more spiritual and being closer to ALLAH. We have learn to fight and I shall keep on fighting.

September: I was recuperating from the major surgery and preparing my self for the radiotherapy by the end of the month. I didn't see my husband for a month! Another challenge ALLAH gave me which involves my whole family-parents-siblings. It was very hard for me to handle especially when I just had a major operation and recuperating from it.

October: I went through 25 rounds of radiotherapy. My husband came and visit me over the weekends. (Not every week though. This is not K.L-JB). Then, 30th October I flew back home 3 days before Hari Raya. I was so desperately wanting to go back home.

November: I celebrated Hari Raya with my family and relatives. This year Hari Raya meant a lot to me and my family. We also trade in our 4WD for an MPV so that we have more comfort. I also had shinles.

December: I'm on remission since then. I go for my medical check up every month. My son had a very bad case of food poisoning. My daughter and husband was infected with the same virus which caused my son's food poisoning.

Side effects after surgery: Your body feels totally alien/different. The numbness and sudden off and on sharp pain caused by the nerves being cut stays on. You wonder about your body more. The anxiety somehow is still there from time to time. Your mind wonders but you try and think positive and pray for the best. You tend to be a bit forgetful at time due to all the medication you've been taking for the past 10 months.

I try to maintain a healthy living and try not to give up even though my mind tends to wonder which is common for every one who have had cancer and goes through major surgery and now on remission.

What we need to keep on surviving: Happy thoughts, laughter, being happy, being positive, surrounded by positive vibes, encouragement, self pampering when needed, stress-free environment, help us live a normal life (or almost normal for people like me), always being surrounded by family and friends and many more which can help us heal ourselves better.

december 17, 2005

Today’s already Friday, god I can’t believe it that my so called two week holidays are already coming to an end. I feels like baru yesterday did I pass thru Mr. Buckley’s room in the MERCY on this day last 2 weeks dengan hati yang penuh gumbira knowing that i’m gonna have a full two week holiday. Little did I know that the two weeks are gonna pass like its two hours. Well anyway, this year I decided against leaving the island ( like what I’ve been doing each time Christmas comes) dengan alasan wanna stock up things for my so called ‘future house’in the years to come, which is obviously odd since most of my friends in my batch are travelling like hell or deciding to get married or not.

Well it’s true that travelling is indeed interesting, and yes I like travelling a lot, however when you' ve been to most countries in western Europe, going to other countries just seem boring , as most countries look the same, it’s a matter of whether you get to take a picture with Eiffel tower on the background or the Brandenburg gate at the back. Lainlah kalau pergi to Australia or US or Africa-kan?

where it all happend

Well enough of that, after four weeks of the mental ward kat the mercy hospital, I was literally going ‘ku-ku’ as well on top. I would have to say jumpe orang gila is very interesting, it’s sort of vague in nature and never have I seen such debilitating diseases ( skizo, depression,dementia) that affect almost every aspect of the sufferer’s life. Me and ezrin, we were attached to a particular Dr. C who was literally busy all the time , if not most of the time.

We did not get to see much patients as Dr. C did not have that much patients himself, however we did have A LOT OF tutorials everyday, YA ALLAH! The tutorial were so long ( 3 HOURS PEOPLE ) between me, ezrin and him. The tutorial would be soooo long that in the middle of it your eyes just feels like closing, as in my case , aku akan sangatlah mengantuk sampai mata nie rase nak terjuling. To make matter’s worse, this particular Dr. C was crossed eyed as well ( juling-lah) , lagilah payah , coz aku nie jenis yang bile bercakap dengan org , aku akan buat eye contact ( rapport-lah katakan) ; sebab tak tahu dia tengah pandang sape and dia tengah tanye soalan kat sape ( me or ezrin).

chaos before sriabe's arrival

One thing yang aku tak puas hati dengan mamat Dr. C is dia bagi aku-nyer attendance as good, when then next best option is excellent ; sedangkan rotation nie, aku diligently pergi dengan penuh semangat , langsung tak ponteng for the full four weeks; bukanlah aku nak kerek ker ape, but aku ingat lagi time dia mark akunyer assessment paper depan aku and dia bulatkan option (GOOD) instead of (EXCELLENT) pecah hati aku…serious people, it was THE MOMENT ; THE MOMENT when your head just goes like ‘ babi-sial!!!’….the last ‘babi-sial’ moment I had was probably with emmarina’s DR. W, the minute he accused me of not eliciting the patients name while taking his history.

Well, talking about ‘babi-sial’ moments , few months ago while having our practical procedures course at the Brookefield Complex, Rob Gaffney the director of the course was kind enough to invite us for tea and scones that was initially for a group of dr’s having some neonatal course at the complex as well. The ‘babi-sial’ moment came when I was just about to take some scones, when out of nowhere this ( hippo-impregnanted- as in she was like BMI tinggilahkan- sib baik aku slim ) lady came and said something which sounded like, ‘ excuse me, that’s not for you, that for the people doing the course,’ , and later added ,’you COME TO MY PLACE, and you finish my food,’ . Aku memang terkejut giler sampai tak terkata, luckily my group-mate Clare was there and she was like, ‘ MAS, you did not hear that,’ berkali-kali …..aku dalam hati was so like ‘babi-sial’ makcik nie , sib baik jer BMI terover, kalu tidak dah lame aku %$*ol.

sri's chestnut cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well enough of that , sebelum aku start cuti banyaklah bende yang aku nak buat sepanjang cuti, among others;

TAMBAH BERAT BADAN ( see shaz, aku adelah jugak cita2 nak ade BMI normal ( soooo tercapai)
Workout ( uweeekk, rase nak muntahlah pulak!!!- wekekekeke , jangan jeles)-sekali jer sepanjang cuti nie pergi panjat bukit kat mardyke
Stadi ( langsung tak tercapai)
Kawen dengan emmarina ( I think dah about 3453438 times aku tanye dia-but still no answer
Beli barang rumah ( obviously tercapai- sume Sri punyer pasal )

Iiiiyerslah, manusia hanya merancang tuhan lah yang menentukan……..

My holidays started early, Friday tuh dah takder class, so the evening was preety boring while waiting for leia to pic me up. Kalaulah aku tau mamat DR. C tuh nak bagi aku good untuk kedatangan aku dah lame aku ponteng hari jumaat tuh pergi Limerick , at least I can help shaz with the cooking or shopping. I can’t remember what time we bertolak from cork , but yang pastinyer it was already dark.

We were really eager to sampai Limerick early, yang pastinyer kenelah sampai lagi awai dari befday girlkan, i can’t remember how many times paan and shaz called leia to ensure that we were on the way. We arrived at apartment 29 ( dunno if you noticed tak , but 29 is also the same number of Lando’s apartment in Ungu Violet) we were greeted by shaz and paan whowas busy ensuring everything was in place for the big surprise. Tanpa melengahkan masa lagi, emmarina , leia and paan got to work ensuring that sri’s ( HAPPY 50th befday ) banner was in place.

shaz getting ready for the morning

Shaz pulak sibuk dengan ising and cake chestnut sri yang at that time was still not ready. Kelibut jugaklah keadaan time tuh ,macam dalam ERlah pulak.Well anyway, the actually takat panic came when paan got a call from abe, saying that they were close to limerick. Barulah sume orang nak panic, especially shaz (tukang buat cake) yang panicnyer sampai nak terkencing! Paan with leia’s help on the other hand was busy concocting some bizarre plan to delay Sri’s arrival.

in the chaos he still was able to go boho ( ala Sienna Miller)
Nasib baiklah cake sempat siap sebelum sri abe sampai ……...sempat jugaklah Sri sambut befday!!!!
Paling tak larat was the actual surprise thingy- siap tutup lampu lagi……kalau stakat kak Aji tak heranlah, tapi DENGAN KAK TOH PON JOIN skali SIOT!!!!!!!-----MAJU!!!!!

tuan rumah still managed to croon us a few hits that morning ( burger on the right, mike on the left-multitasking hah!!!) , also leia cutting cucumber ( hmmmmmm???)

Hari yang berikutnyer was also an occasion to remember as banyak sangat orang datang. People started trickling in one by one in the afternoon, and by about 3 , PAAn’s bachelor pad was sesak dengan makcik-makcik and pakcik-pakcik serta budak-budak kecik ( arghrrr!! Pollution) dari sekitar limerick. And yang kelakarnyer, time tuh , only the tuan rumah was dressed in baju melayu and DAH SIAP MANDI, yang lain sume still in scrubs ( read : busuk- kecuali your truly-lah, I DO NOT SMELL-wekekekekeke-ketawa evil) . Bile orang datang, barulah kecoh nak mandi. From then on, people started coming in non-stop, sampai makanan pon tak cukup and kena masak second round. I guess the company was good, the food was soo excellent and people just enjoyed it soo much that they just couldn’t stop eating. …………people were just having tooo much fun, at least I was!

Well anyway, the mayhem started to slow down by about 11pm- for the guess at least, as untuk saki-baki yang tinggal , the fun was just starting – kareoke. YES people, we had a non-stop kareoke session that night- supplemented by a tabletop dance and ballet routine performance.

The next morning, again it was kareoke and later on we headed to kAk Aji’s house , where we had a shock-sendiri picture taking session.

at kak Aji house : well at least some people had fun

Well anyway, all and all we indeed had an enjoyable weekend that week-which would obviously not happen if not for the tuan rumah no. 29 ( tall,dark and hansem)* and the cook (sexy bitch)* .

well i guess , tuan rumah was really tired at the end of the day

* hmmmm …????

masyaallah......penatnye!!!!

i was so damn excited yesterday as it was the last on call i have to do untill god knows when. finally it's happening, i find it hard to believe myself that i don't have a job for the next 6 months. Of course i kept telling people that taking some time off and do some locum jobs anywhere in the country were the plan but as it about to happen i'm kinda scared. as if a groom has cold feet right before the wedding. i wish i didn't have to go through with it but it's not a matter of choice anymore. well i guess i just have to face it anyway....man this sounds way better in my head when i was thinking about it a year ago. oh well what's the worst that could happen besides getting really really broke and deported back home for being dependant to state's dail. could be a bliss!! by the way as i was saying last night was my last on call and masyaallah the busiest it has been in ages!!!! penat nak mampos!!!! so typical of me i kinda saw this coming anyway but still a quiet call would be nice. non-stop referral of genuinely sick patients, already sick patients got sicker in the wards, basically last night was mayhem like a blood bath in the hospital. thank god my surprisingly nice reg and consultant dropped by and actually saw those patients and helped me clearing out the surgical referral box, otherwise i would've still down in the torture crypt at this time. i'm knackered and if i was at all like the irish i would've have gone to the pub and load myself with massive amount of C2H5OH now, fortunately to everyone's dissappointment i'm nothing like that at all :-) i'm gonna go home soon and get some sleep which is i may add is not even beauty sleep, this one is obligatory. tomorrow will be my last day and hope it will be the start a of a new beginning for me in more ways than one.......

Pemuda mahu cium ular tedung selar 50 kali

KANGAR 27 Dis. - Seorang pemuda dari Utan Aji di sini, bakal mencipta rekod dunia jika berjaya mencium ular tedung selar sebanyak 50 kali dalam tempoh 10 minit seperti yang dirancangnya.
Jika berjaya, nama Shahimi Abd. Hamid, 32, bukan sahaja akan dicatatkan dalam Guinness World Book of Records, malah mendapat pengiktirafan daripada Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
Bekas petugas Taman Ular Perlis (TUPs) itu akan menggunakan segala pengalamannya termasuk dipatuk ular beratus kali untuk mencipta rekod itu.
Kejayaannya nanti akan memadamkan rekod seorang rakyat Amerika Syarikat (AS) yang mencium ular sebanyak 11 kali tetapi tiada had masa.
Menurut Shahimi, aksi beraninya itu akan dilakukan pada 11 Mac tahun depan di Muzium Ripley's Believe It Or Not di Hotel First World, Genting Highlands.
Jelasnya, ular tedung yang akan dicium nanti bukannya ular milik beliau tetapi ular liar yang disediakan sendiri oleh pihak pengurusan rancangan Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
``Ia adalah ular liar dan pihak pengurusan rancangan itu akan menyediakan ular yang saya tidak tahu sejauh mana bisanya.
``Saya mempunyai pengalaman 10 tahun dan telah beratus kali dipatuk ular. Pengalaman itu akan saya jadikan semangat untuk mencipta rekod dunia nanti,'' katanya pada sidang akhbar di TUPs, di sini hari ini.
Hadir sama ialah Pengurus TUPs, Tengku Noriah Tengku Mahmud dan Penolong Pengurus Muzium Ripley's Believe It Or Not Genting Highlands, Adha Osman.
Shahimi berkata, sebagai persediaan, beliau akan menjalani aktiviti senaman khas dan mengambil ubat-ubat serta antibodi sebelum melakukan aksi tersebut.
Ini kerana, ujarnya, selain mencipta rekod, beliau juga akan membuat pertunjukan dengan membiarkan tangannya dipatuk ular berkenaan.
Sementara itu, Adha memberitahu, orang ramai boleh menyaksikan aksi Shahimi dengan mengunjungi muzium berkenaan yang berkeluasan 12,000 kaki persegi.
``Pihak kami juga sedang mencari stesen televisyen yang berminat untuk menyiarkan aksi Shahimi, malah aksi beliau bakal ditonton di seluruh dunia melalui rancangan tersebut,'' tambahnya


sometimes i just really really wonder why people ( read : malaysianS-kalau more specific-melayu)) would be so facinated with things like this.

My heavens, the last time i was in malaysia, terkejut jugaklah tengok the amount of tabloids sold at book stores.
Even Borders kat berjaya times square pon ader jual tabloid melayu.......its really funny that melay people will be so captivated with stuff like :

' polong hisap darah bayi di bentong'
'PEMANDU TEKSI jumpa pontianak di kajang'
'pelajar jumpa hantu tetek di tepi jalan'
'toyol di jalan kelang lama'
'mayat bertukar menjadi babi'

and the latest as you guys can see it ...nak cium ulo ( vocalised like 'misha omo')
lah pulak kan......

and ya , not forgetting the bigfoot scare recently ( read utusan malaysia for further information) in bentong.........

the da vinci code teaser!!!

talk about forbidden love........

the other night i went to see king kong, was entertaining and enjoyed it very much, the movie was ok but the company i went to the movies with were better. with couple of friends, stuffed ourselves with great food syaznay cooked (as always) first then off to the cinema. since we had 30 minutes left before the show starts we figured where else can we go to kill the time so we went to mc donnald's and there we went having ice cream sundaes and coffee, basically i was ready to go to sleep with overly bloated stomach when we got our seats in the theatre. nevertheless i was awake the whole time during the show, it was nothing compared to any of the LOTR trilogy then again it was indeed full with action sequence that kept my ass off the seat most of the time. kinda weird since it has so few lines for a movie that runs almost 3 hours long.

it didn't occur to me that the ape actually likes the girl (naomi watts) until at the middle of the story. i kinda knew how the story goes just never realize it in my mind, the thing is i can't help myself but wonder in what way actually this unmistakeably tall, dark and hairy stud feels about the girl and vice versa. maybe they look at each other as pets or maybe long lost friends nothing more....or is it? talk about forbidden love! well the way i see it this scary big beast was missunderstood, underneath the tough and gigantic exterior lies a very lonely heart, i suppose he longs for company and being the only giant gorilla there well go figure, (i wonder what happened to the rest of his species maybe he's the acromegallic or gigantism in gorilla)

as usual greed in human nature ruins all and the poor ape reached his doom the moment he laid eyes on the girls, bitten and fighting the T-rexs, the giant bats and the army. he should've eaten or crushed her when he got the chance rather than playing with her. it's more like beauty and the beast story and in my humble opinion the movie was ok and a piece of entertainment worth checking out.
oh yes, the da vinci code trailer shown before the movie was awesome can't wait till may 19 next year!

it's quiet for a change....

yes finally a little peace and quiet for me today, can stretch my legs and take it easy for the day. as christmas approaching you wouldn't believe how everything in this hospital almost at a standstill, people more relaxed and simply don't wanna do any work. yes, the party and holiday moods have finally reached their therapeutic level. i guess that's a good thing. at least the giving out, roaring and shouting will be kept at a minimum level. i meant to be working on christmas eve, a collegue of mine managed to swap the call 2 days before he went home to malaysia and i did his saturday instead. he paid me back by doing my christmas eve, kinda annoyed at first since you get 9 hours worth of double-pay rate for that day work but now i feel relieved not to have to come to work on that day, well just for a few hours in the morning making sure everyone's ok but still the thought of you gotta work while everybody else is at home having fun, really depressing! i know some of my friends will kill me for saying those stuffs since they are on-call on this weekend. no worries guys, double pay!!!!!! that will keep you guys motivated.
i had a little get together last weekend, boy was i wrecked! and it was nothing compared to syaz who kindly enough to help me out with the cooking, a lil bit of cleaning and "entertaining" my guests (what did i do then?!). to me it was a great weekend although some of my close friends couldn't make it for obvious reason - work and work and work. it was a weekend well spent and i enjoyed it very much. to those who left rather early that day missed a mini concert in the house. boy! you wouldn't believe the talents these "people" have ( sworn to secrecy so no names) you think you know someone but you have no idea that they can even dance on the coffee table, ballet dancing and even sing "bangau oh bangau"!it was a indecribably awesome night. i had fun. the foods!!! my goodness, i can't even begin to describe how good they were. in fact they were so good we have to cook some more in the evening time as my hungry guests cleared up the dishes rather unexpectedly i mean we kinda underestimated our guests' hunger and intake capability hahahahaha!!! i better stop talking about the food, got heartburn as we speak, immediately after thinking about the food, man i'm hungry!! better go look for something to eat and get back to work. well i got things to do as well even it's a quiet day unlike some friends of mine who can leave and go home in the middle of the day. hope it stays this way. i'm gonna have a cup of coffee now........

WELCOME TO WHEREVER YOU ARE

the other night i was feeling really shitty bagai nak rak, turned the tv on and i went to the window, just staring at the darkness outside wondering just what really made this feeling even begins, was having a bad day alright. then for some reason i heard this song playing on tv, wasn't even watching but the words caught my attention and damn right it did make me feel better, so i guess i'd like to share it with you guys, the new single i guess by bon jovi..........

Album: Have A Nice Day
Track: WELCOME TO WHEREVER YOU ARE


Maybe we're all different but we're still the same
We all got the blood of Eden running through our veins
I know sometimes it's hard for you to see
You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be

If you feel alone and lost and need a friend
Remember every new beginning is some beginning's end

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
That right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
Welcome to wherever you are

When everybody's in and you're left out
And you feel you're drowning in the shadow of a doubt
Everyone's a miracle in their own way
Just listen to yourself, not what other people say

When it's seems you're lost, alone and feeling down
Remember everybody's different; just take a look around

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be

Be who you want to be
Be who you are
Everyone's a hero
Everyone's a star

When you want to give up and your heart's about to break
Remember that you're perfect; God makes no mistakes

Welcome to wherever you are
This is your life; you made it this far
Welcome, you got to believe
Right here, right now
You're exactly where you're supposed to be
And I say welcome…
I say welcome…
Welcome…

yumm...

ni khas untuk ema yg teringin tosai...haha...tgk gambar cukup la ye...
ni tosai enak kat the infamous rest. Kayu. waktu aku pegi masa balik msia haritu. nanti kau turun penang aku bawak pi.


this is my sister, tengah menikmati roti canai kosong favourite dia. ( she wont appreciate her picture being in here, but hey, what she doesn't know can't hurt her!)

sunday morning..........

finally come sunday, yes i'm getting outta here, thank god although in less than 24 hours i will be coming back again to this place. it just occured to me that i have only 20 days left working in this place. after 2 years of busting my ass from one specialty to the other, i would be lying if i say i will not going to miss this place, it is like cork, i never consider it as my place of choice to live however i feel attached to it somehow. it grew on me over the years and so did this hospital, without you know it you actually become part of the place and there would be "separation anxiety" like emotion when leaving here. it made me realize though that in my whole life i never got what i wanted....i guess, instead i always end up with the next best thing. as i see it, the end results were not as bad. feels like there was a pattern in life, that throughout the course of your life you can almost predict which path you going to end up with and it just happened. i bet you guys don't have a clue what i'm talking about but it seems to me that's the way my life is to date. i used to be so scared not knowing what's gonna happened in my future, i gotta have a plan and forecast of where would i be, what i'm gonna do and how is it gonna be done but now i couldn't care less of all those s"*t. feels like i have no control at all so why bother. i would blame my job which is distracting and time that moves so fast that goes away while i haven't had time to grasp the reality at that particular moment. just like missing a train that doesn't stop at a station and the only mean to get on it is to hop in and when you keep missing it everytime coz you are not fast enough to catch it the longer it takes to get to the destination and the more stuff that would happen along the journey you're gonna miss. this is sleep deprivation talking well i'm sure nobody would understand anyway. the best thing to do at this moment is to get some sleep and i bet i would want to delete this entry when i read it again later after i gain my sanity back

i can't believe that i have to be in theatre today, again!!!! damn! operating with someone i don't really get along well, not something i'm looking forward to and even worse it's AAA repair, that's 3 hours long torture!!! what else i'm talking about nothing but bitching about work. i have been in theatre all week, i know operating is fun but there's only so much operation one can do a week, those surgeons operate twice per week and right after that they gone while we have to stay back picking up the pieces left behind, monday was urology, tuesday was colorectal, wednesday was vascular and today another vascular, talking about wide exposure!! well now i'm waiting for my locum boss who was suppose to be here err half an hour ago....where is he now? god only knows and knowing me that i have to be somewhere else as well as waiting for him for the round, i become so restless and anxious, man why do i feel this way? they can get someone else to scrub for the case, so i kept telling myself. apparently this guy i'm not seeing things eye-to-eye with can't work with this other guy who actually meant to be there (wonder why)as a result i came to the picture, i feel "honoured". oh well, i just have to put up with it just for a few hours then, (god please grant me strength to go through the rest of the day, to keep awake and to hang on to the retractor throughout the surgery!!)