Xmas 2006

as usual, i come here to bitch. even i got nothing to bitch about nevertheless i just feel like it especially now. well it's christmas today and the whole country pretty much like a scene of town you see in silent hill movie, quiet, dull and lifeless. i guess everyone is at home, savouring alcoholic drinks and enjoying the foods with the company of their families regardless those they love or not. i suppose on this kinda day you just be together put aside what the feelings they have toward each other. feud and disagreement are totally whole different stories and christmas is here to be enjoyed not spoiled. pretty much like hari raya. sound fun. where am i while all this fun going on? home and alone. well i chose to stay at home this weekend although i did say i would go out somewhere and do something to make the most of my day off but when i got home last friday night somehow there was some invisible force like magnetic field that kept me grounded in my house.


god how i love to be home at last. my own room, my own space, my own bed and my own coffee machine. i missed them i know it's kinda sad just to say that and make it sound like those are real living people but reality are those just inanimate objects instead. nevertheless i guess that the fact i have been away for sometimes made me realize how i treasure the luxury of having my own comfort zone. hell i can walk around naked if i wanted too. i woke up late on saturday and it's nice to wake up without alarm clock screaming in your ear at 6 o'clock like it was this past 2 weeks. lay on my bed still covered by the duvet up to my neck thinking when should i get up and leave this warm little atmosphere inside the sheet. i kept lying tossing and turning on the wide double bed enjoying what i've been missing all the while smiling to the comfort i felt. argh, i can do this all day. unfortunately my empty stomach started to yell the churning sound demanding to be stuffed. and the timing couldn't get any better when siti texted inviting me over to her place as she just finished cooking nasi lemak. nasi lemak!! wo, i love my bed and sleep but no way i was going to pass that. i love nasi lemak and my mouth just flooded with my spit as i typed this. i got up and finally made it to siti's a little over two hours later. well i had to make a cup of coffee for myself after getting up which is a daily ritual for me and as i was ready to have my shower i found out that the boiler was indeed turned off so i had to wait for almost 30 minutes for the water to be at perfect temperature for me to shower, don't ask i am that anal. that's why it took a bit longer for me to get to siti's besides town was mad and packed with people who were doing their last minute shopping and that doubled the length of time needed to me to get to siti's . anyway i made it and fullamak the nasi lemak was awesome! loved it, loved it and loved it! way to go siti! we talked and hung out over a couple rounds of coffee which i bought from insomnia. great coffee i must say. we saw a movie "brick" i rented from extravision, it was okay, kinda slow but the story is good. about drugs and teenagers and all the troubles they caused. how did they manage to go through high school with these kinda problems are beyond me, if indeed they happen but then again i'm not surprised if they did happen. at that age i was still struggling with the academics without all these extracurricular stuff. frankly didn't have time to think about it all, well i was a nerd, maybe it happened but i was too oblivious to even notice it. i went home a little after 12 because i was so sleepy and tired for some reasons even though i was still in bed less than 10 hours before that. guess the residual exhaustion from the previous weeks started to catch up on me. i went straight to bed and slept like a baby as soon as i lay my head on the pillow.


nothing much on sunday. meant to go to cork but i was too lazy to leave the house besides i woke up late again and the day almost over so i decided to just chill out at home tidy my place. then comes today and the whole day i've been dreading for these coming week. i'll be working tomorrow and on call then another call on friday then on sunday the 31st, supposedly the busiest day for business in my field. thank god i'm finishing in the morning of january 1st and god knows how impatient i am now to get there. can hardly wait! urghhhh i hate this moment and i hate this week already. hope tomorrow will be easy and so will the next day and the next day till sunday. wishful thinking!

hmm......(sigh)

I started to get used to getting around this place. Although it only has been less than a week I have to be extremely quick at adapting to what’s going on around me. I guess that’s the only way for me to survive this mediocre existence. Living out of a suitcase like this frankly is a very exhausting life and even more depressing. Oh god! You have no idea how miserable my life is right now. Completely alone in a place that is alien to me with none of the faces you meet seem remotely familiar. To make matter worse the job that I’m doing right now is not something that I fond of, in fact the one I’d wished I didn’t get at all. I remember last Tuesday when I got the text about the job, I was thinking sure I can just answer perhaps they wouldn’t even pick me all the while hoping that other people might answer to the advertisement and got chosen. After I hung up with the agency it occurred to me what am I gonna do if they do want me to fill in the job? Shit! I shouldn’t have called them in the first place to tell them I was interested. A few hours later my cell rang and medical admin office was on the other end of the line. Damn! Damn! Damn! I had to honour my words, told them I was going to come then there was nothing to be said but to pack my stuff. In about 2 hours after the call I received I was on the road dreading about the next few weeks ahead of me and keep wishing I hadn’t pick up my phone and answer that ad. I don’t like to think of myself as a stupid person but most of the time you have no idea what a complete idiot I am, really! Got my life to prove it. Anyway a week has gone and 2 more weeks left with 4 on-calls waiting in line. I just have to ignore inner cry and suffering and just look up to the finishing line. Thank god I will be off for Christmas and god knows how I’m going to make most of it!

Untitled

Yeah they share the same alpha globulin but deferred in their beta globulin… huh? … You know the Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) and the Beta HCG… so?... well severe hypothyroidism can cause excessive emesis… so?.... in sudden surge of BHCG it can mimic that effect, causing hyperemesis . So the chosen 1% of BHCG positive (ie pregnant woman) can experience the excessive nausea and vomiting from the surge of this hormone until it plateau around (and I mean around the clock!) after first trimester (yeah right!!!!), or 14 weeks, or 18 weeks, OR the whole 40 weeks of pregnancy (wuuhoooo just the thing I wanna know!)

This is my ever so scarce literature contribution in this space. But I actually do have a lot to tell. Im sure most of you knew, that I was ‘out-of-commission’ for 7 weeks. Half of that time spent in front of either a sink or a toilet bowl throwing my empty guts out. Ohh yes, and include a full week hours being admitted as a patient in my place of work. Hugely embarrassing! Now all my colleagues, from the consultants to the porters and security guys are in the know. Well it turns out kinda sweet coz I notice people are gallantly nicer at work (including the midwives hehehe).

Alhamdulillah menjelang hari raya, aku beransur pulih ( sikit jer) tapi bulehlah dgn pertolongan Mas Irfan Jaya (pelajar tahun akhir di Cork) aku buat ketupat palas (thank you ibu/ayah), lodeh and kemas2 rumah. Nasiblah kawan2 aku yang baik hati semuanya buat pot luck datang rumah aku ( Sri buat kuah kacang yang kemudian aku spoilkan, sorrylah Sri, betul2 tak sengaja, Ajee/K toh buat rendang, Lia/Zarrie Anne/Wawa buat meehoon utk 50 org agaknya). Kira Aidilfitri 2006 aku bestlah juga walaupun dah start kerja balik. Taklah sedih sgt cam Paan, tapi aku dah puas sedih kot sebelum tu heheheheh.

The next weekend, I went to Limerick (takut juga ada projectile event dlm kereta, tapi alhamdulillah ok besides a few very dodgy moments). Hmm, I would really like to announce, aku first time main pool (kat rumah Fahd) and guess what? Aku menang! Tak percaya aku, takpalah pada sapa2 yg tak puas hati tu, nanti kita re-match ya! Excited aku pada suatu hari minggu yang indah tu, aku terjumpa sayur kangkung kat Asia Market Limerick! Ohhh bestnyer… terasa nak makan nasi lemak dgn sayur kangkung. Paan pun melayan aku pergi bershopping (sebab Paan pun dah lama tak makan nasi). Bertuah aku ngan Mosh dapat makan kat rumah Paan sambil tgk citer Mistress of Spice…..layann

I really want to use this space to thank Aji/Kak Toh/Uncle/SriAbe/Lia/Zarrie Anne/Ee/Ariri for all the cooking you guys did for me and Mosh during those trying times. Tak taulah aku nak makan apa kalau korang takda. Paan, Ema, Shaz and Mas… thank you for your supportive msgs and tolong2 aku. Im on the mend right now Alhamdulillah. Hopefully I’ll regain my appetite fully to regain the 7 kgs I lost (even in my crunchest diet I didn’t achieve that! Errrr aku pernah ke diet? Anyway…). AND of course to dearest Mosh, thank you for all the cooking, then holding my hair afterwards while my stomach rejected it, and for fixing a hot drink, for semi-forcing me to Erinville and generally being patient and supportive through the ordeal. #

Eid 2006……

Monday 23/10/06 0330hrs

“ala canggung, ala canggung la la la le la le” that was the alarm went off from my mobile phone that woke me up from my deep sleep. Urghhh! At this hour I would give up everything I’ve own just to keep myself in bed. I had to get up though, in 4 hours I had to be in Navan. I was cursing myself while heading towards the shower, thank god that I packed everything last night before going to bed. Got ready and had a bowl of crunchy nut cereal and a cup of coffee I finally made my way out to the car. I had a small thermos mug filled with Guatemalan Antigua coffee which beans I bought from starbuck’s at Cork airport a few days before ramadhan. This particular coffee behaves like a stimulant drug to me, I get all hyper and jittery which means in my case I get manic when I drink it, just what I need to keep me awake throughout the trip, gotta drink it before fasting starts though. I left my house at 0500 hrs, thinking hmm 3 hours that should be enough to get to the destination on time.

Monday 23/10/06 0630hrs

Traffic was pretty much bumper to bumper on this Naas-Dublin motorway at this hour. “ what the hell is going on?! It almost 7 o’clock for god’s sake!” I stuck in traffic, the sun wasn’t even rise yet and at least 40 km away from Navan and that how far it was from M50 motorway after the tollbooth. I was maybe 5-6 km away from M50 at the time and hardly moved an inch in the last 10 minutes. I started to get a bit irritable. Anxious that I was going to be late and anxious that my car would go overheated. Yes my car had been a bit strange in this past months, meant to get it checked out but for unknown reasons I never did, hmmmm, well the thing is if I stop for maybe 10 minutes with the engine running, the temperature scale hand would soar up to the highest point you know the reddest part of the scale. The “STOP” sign will light up and keep blinking like mad that every single time it happens I swear I could see the bonnet explodes and my life starts flashing before my eyes. Talking about being dramatic. I got really restless at this point the temperature hand just about to reach the forbidden zone. I prayed and kept on praying, the last thing I need was my car stall in this traffic jam. My scrub smelled like coffee I spilled earlier. The lid of that stupid mug wasn’t securely fit and most of the hot coffee ended up on my lap instead of my mouth. Damn! I knew it at that moment the next 24 hours of my life gonna be hell.

God knew how relief I was when I crossed the tollbooth in one piece and sped up to N3 route to Navan. I looked at the clock it was 10 minutes to 8 am. I was already late.

Monday 23/10/06 0810hrs

I guess I was about 15 km away from Navan when the traffic came to a halt, again?! This road should be empty at this hour as very few people were suppose to go inbound to Navan, it should be the other way around. What a luck! Turned out that there was an accident up ahead, shit! That would definitely go to my hospital and I was the surgical on-call, basically that was for me and I better get my ass over there before them.

I got to the hospital a little after 8:30 and headed straight to the dayward, thank god I wasn’t the only one who was late. So I carried on working as usual.

Monday 23/10/06 1115 hrs

My bleep went off and it was casualty, great! It started already. Rule of thumb if you were on-call and casualty started ringing you before 12 pm, you might as well just move in to casualty as you basically looking at a very long day and night. I never wrong at this. So yeah that road traffic accident (RTA) I told you guys earlier made it to the hospital. Surprisingly she was okay, oh yes it was a young woman in the car by herself thankfully, just a broken wrist a couple of cuts and graze here and there. She was so lucky, so I thought. I examined her, something not quite right with her tummy, managed to get an urgent ultrasound. She went straight to CT from ultrasound room, my suspicious was confirmed that she had liver laceration with intraperitoneal bleeding but she was stable. I knew it we had to transfer her to a bigger and better hospital with liver unit and I had to go with her. At that stage I had 3 people admitted already and time just turned 3 pm. It was a terrible day in general, the weather sucked and medical team had 3 heart attacks already when I got to A&E and again it wasn’t even 12 pm.

Monday 23/10/06 1900 hrs

After a quick drink and snack for fast breaking, I jumped on the back of the ambulance with the liver lady. We’re heading for a hospital in Dublin. It was quite a long ride considering all the sirens and the lights were on, we managed to get there despite a little lost along the way as none of the accompanying people been to this part of the hospital ironically and transferred the patient in one piece, phew! What a relief. We headed back to Navan. I hate ambulance ride, anti-emetic I took right before we left worked wonder otherwise I would be on the stretcher instead of the patient. We got back at about almost 11 pm. Went up to the wards did some jobs and finally lay down on the bed at about 1 am, only then I just realized it was eid.

I recited takbir, the touching and moving malaysian’s way of reciting takbir, not aloud just to myself, at that particular time I wish I was at home. I know I told some of my friends before that I didn’t really feel anything or anxious at all for the eid but at that moment how I wish I was with someone or some people at least I’m close to if it weren’t my family. Okay in another word I feel a bit lonely and kinda sad. Then I spent the whole night okay not the whole night but most of the night replying text messaging to everyone particularly those in Malaysia. I called my parents and god, it was good to hear their voices. I felt much better, much and much better!

Tuesday 24/10/06 0400hrs

I came down to casualty again, a couple more patients to see, I probably was asleep for about 30 minutes when the bleep went off, damn you bleep! As I was talking to one of the patients, my phone rang and it was my brother in his cheerful and happy voice wishing happy eid, actually he needed my grandmother’s house phone number, that cheeky lad. Luckily I was awake what if I was asleep? Sure I would get really cranky and give out to him regardless it was raya or not, the thing is I could never bring myself to that angry, cranky person and my brothers and sisters know it, that’s why it has been going on for as long as I’ve been here and will keep on happening I tell you, not that I never mention to them, they just don’t care I guess. I love them very much and that gives me the strength to put up with them.

Tuesday 24/10/06 0730hrs

I got up after a little snooze, I felt a little fresh and went to the shower. Prayed fajr and about 8 am I did my own eid prayer, I know I wouldn’t get a chance to do it as we had theatre today. It was such a long day and I was dying to get out of here, not that I got somewhere else to be but I just wanted to go to sleep. I left at last at 6:30 that evening, after a ward round that I came along half-heartedly. Checked in at the B&B and the rest the of the evening was a blur to me. Next thing I knew I woke up in my work clothes in the middle of the night and when I looked at my watch it was 3 am Wednesday morning. I went back to bed and just before that I wish myself “Selamat Hari Raya!”

the day has gotten gloomy........

I can’t believe it has been a week already since we started ramadhan, it made no difference to me except there are more invitations to breaking fast party in the weekends, may it be here my lovely hometown or Cork. Soon Eid will be around the corner and while people back home will be busy rushing and busting their asses off getting ready for the celebration I on the other hand will be chilling on my couch oblivious to the date which Eid will be fell on, coz I know someone will let me know the second it’s decided and bless those people who invented mobile technology, phone or internet alike.

It definitely feels different when you are away for this sort of things. Last year, I went home after 4 years been away for this holiday season. I think I did blog about my disappointment after the Eid, how all my hyped up expectation just crumbled down like the twin towers after the plane crashed into them. Sadly to say I still feel a bit bitter over it, I know, I know it’s time to let go unfortunately letting go is one thing I find very, very difficult to do. One of my flaws I’m afraid as some might notice. At least I don’t feel angry anymore that’s a good sign. Since then I feel like totally numb over this whole festive holidays. I just don’t look forward to it, think or feel anything at all about it basically I just don’t care. It’s going to be the same as any other day like February 5th or August 17th. Am I worried about this? I’m afraid not either. Oh well there’ll be plenty other things coming our ways after this that I might be a little more enthusiastic I suppose.

Last weekend, I came to Cork for E/Ariri and Leia/Honza/Zariena/Wawa’s hosted breaking fast feast on Saturday and Sunday respectively. Boy o boy, I was like a starved vulture hogging on freshly dead horse. I kept on eating and eating and eating until my stomach was stretched to its maximum capacity when at this stage anymore eaten food couldn’t possibly stay down but to go up instead the way it comes, eugh! That is disgusting I didn’t do that though, I stopped when I started to feel that breathing suddenly became a conscious effort. Hahaha I ate that much! Who am I to deny my own appetite, thank god I’m such a terrible cook and the most slothful on top of that when it comes to cooking. Otherwise I might be the heaviest and most obese guy ever, probably on a waiting list for gastric bypass at this stage. Anyway, thank you guys for the tasty, most delicious and mouth watering malay foods I’ve sampled for a while. It was f#*king awesome you had no idea how happy and grateful I was hahahaa. I still can’t stop thinking that I turned down Sri’s invitation for Nasi Lemak during the week. What can I do? I already had a plan on the day wish that I hadn’t. Well sure she could find deep in her big and kind heart to do this some other time but this one I would definitely be securing a seat for myself. I really had great time and nice to see these people again. Nothing much changed that I noticed except that Afiq, Akeelah and the B, Nattie and E’s belly grown bigger. Swear to god, I can’t believe that E is that big! Can’t imagine how CT will look like a few months from now.

Yes another surprise birthday party this weekend and this time it was Agee’s. Credit to Abe for distracting her with all the facts and trivias of Star Wars : revenge of the Sith, hahahahaha. Well it worked and she seemed clueless and surprised when everyone was standing in front of her with a cake and lit candles on. She didn’t see that coming thinking that Aqilah was doing something funny in the next room I ought to show her and right then when she got at the door everyone yelled “surprise” and singing the birthday anthem. It was fun. The blackforest cake was devine I must say and Sri you simply got better and better at this. I don’t like cakes that much but this one was an exception.


So there it was my weekend, I wonder how those guys in Malaysia getting on? Sure they are at better place than I am and I’m not talking just about the weather here. Yeah winter’s here now, there is no such thing as fall season in this place regrettably to say. The day’s getting colder, shorter (good for the fasting), gloomier, more wet and more depressing than ever (hang on to your cipramil people!) hope everything goes well for you guys and sure is great to hear from you soon. To everyone if it’s not too late still I wish you happy fasting and hopefully not too early to wish you selamat hari raya!

weekend

nak ucapkan THANX to Sri sbb anta aku gi train station Jumaat lepas, berjaya jugak aku naik train tu, thanks to kehebatan Sri bawak kete. Thanx jugak kat abei n sri sbb amik aku semalam, hehe...terasa cam korang ni parents aku lak waktu sekolah2 dulu.
Dublin, hmm...ntah le kenapa aku tak berkenan sgt kat city ni. It's ugly (what's with all these red brick buildings? they're horrendous),dirty, busy and the street layouts are just plain weird (once u get in u can never get out).
Tapi disebabkan husband aku ada kat sana terpaksa la aku rajin2 naik train ke Dublin. Not to mention that i will be living there come January! argh, but hopefully we will find a place in Dun Laoghaire, a breath of fresh air from all the city madness. It's situated abt 45 minutes outside Dublin City, in the eastcoast, and it's lovely. apartment2 dia , the beachfront ones, fuh! lawa2..i can't imagine how expensive the rents are. but it'd be nice if we get any place there, coz i can just imagine u guys coming over for some weekend, picnic2 kat tepi laot...emmm bestnya!!! hehe
oh ya, nak recommend citer Children of Men kat sapa2 yg blom tgk. It's really, really good.

hari yang kepam

nampaknyer dah 4 minggu aku jadi budak final med secara resmi-nyer. Seriously, dalam banyak banyak tahun , aku rasalah tahun nie adalah tahun yang paling aku tak mahu balik ( ke sini, as in ireland) , iyerlah pertama-tamanyer sebab aku balik dari malaysia kali ini , aku dah final med, bukan macam tahun tahun lain, tak payah stadi, only few weeks before exam baru stadi, aka tahun lepas , masa aku 4th med, akhir bulan April ker baru jadi 4th med ( sebelum tuh , full time socialite). Tahun ini macam kene stadi tiap tiap hari ker. Other reasons include the absence of a few significant people, which includes my twin/full time cook/tukang paksa aku makan. Not forgeting my dearest female driver/chaperone/tukang ajak aku minum kopi petang-petang pon dah takdak. On top of that mak angkat aku pon dah jadi career women kerja kat Mallow/CUH, and kakak-kakak angkat aku pulak sorang dah lari/kahwin dgn mat-saleh/ surfer dude, and not forgetting pulak certain people who over the summer , senyap-senyap got pregnant. ( HUh penatlah aku pikir apernyerlah 'hyperememisis' tuh).

Stakat nie dah about 4 weeks in my surgical rotation in the South, i would have to say that it isn't as bad as i taught it would be. The only difference is that the days are long, and you look stupid kalau tak boleh define Mcburney's point. Barulah aku tau rupa-rupanya mc burneys point and sign are actually two different things.........wakakakakakkaka........

Well aniway, skrang nie aku boring giler,and aku kat library kepam kat South nie, tadi aku baru jer tutorial dengan Dr. Ezat/ Reg kat A+E itu pasal seorang minah yang masuk sebab TUQ pain radiating to the back of abt hmm 4 days duration assoc with jaundice, nausea no vomiting , occuring on the background of a lap chole done few weeks ago. Yang pelik nyer minah nie had all the risk factors yang aku pernah jumper. She was soooooooo Funny , but a good historian lah.....let me see, she had, Rhuematoids, hyperchols, hypertension, DM TYPE 1 (dx 6 weeks ago), hx of pancreatitis , and she even had schizo and at the sametime parkinsons....kesiankan .

Well after that , aku pergi cari hx, tapi sedihnyer takder pts , almaklumlah hospital kecik, kesian intern inter n yang terpaksa layan aku , depa mcm serba salah sebab tak dak pts. SO skrang nie aku tgh lepak kat library nie, entah nak buat aper, baca buku cam malas, hmm maybe i should look at a few x-rays. Semalam ader tutorial pasal ECG dgn interns , so okaylah , not bad, stakat rate and rtym tuh buleh aku identify, And Q wave abN as well as Non q wave Mi bulehlah aku cari. lain lain urs truly bebenorlah cluless. Hmmm, malam nie aku makan makanan Sri = TERIMA KASIHlah kat sri sebab bungkus arituh nyer makanan, tak payah aku masak ( read: final med studentkan sibuk , yeah right!) wekeekekekeke. Makanan yang ko bagi cukuplah utk aku for about 3 to 4 days. PAstuh semalam pawi ader bagi aku asam pedas sket , and aku aderlah goreng ayam/telur and masak nasi extra sket, so kire masaklah tuhkan, wekekekekeke. Mungkin esoklah aku masak kot , wekekekekek, skrang nie budak budak lain tengah makan lunch, jap lagi aku ader tutorial dengan reg, and then tutorial lagi, cet penat kot gak arini.

Entah kenapa tiap kali aku kuar dari SI nie, teringin sangat jumpe orang melayu, nie kuar jer dari SI terus balik rumah and jumpe Kumar and Clark ( cewah). Tu-leh tapi di sebabkan aku nie kene/terpaksa/terpaksa-memaksa diri utk belajar haruslah aku duk kat dalam rumah, paling kurang mengadu domba dgn paan , present history dengan mamat tuh, untung2 dapat tutorial pendek. Haahahaha , kepada siti , turn ko akan tibe, present hx over the fon mlm2. Sri/Abe pon , ko jagalah bile aku rotation medicine/paeds nti. wakakakakakakaka!. Insyallah, kalu disebut 40 kali , aku surgery dah honors, hmmm obgyn dah honors, medicine dah honors, paeds pon honors,, insyalah!

wkakakakakakakakakakakakakakka ( ketawe yang teramat sangat EVEL)!!!!!!!!!

well , wokeylah , nanti aku tulis lagi, nak gi tutorial nie, chow-miow!

Drenching Nightsweats

Hehe...U guys must be wondering about the title huh? I've caught fever for the past 2 days...Last nite, I thought I was dreaming but I was actually literally dripping with sweat. It felt like I was sleeping in a sauna room or something! It's really horrible having to get up from the sick-bed just to go to the student's clinic to obtain an mc. It's med.cert this time around and not master of ceremony anymore. i think the fever was from the dental treatment I undergone 3 days ago. Just for a simple dental filling. Did a dental impression too for a double-crown. Never realized that 4 years of capital institutionalization in Ireland had caused this much harm to my oral health. They're gonna pull out the unerupted canine tooth as well and make me wear braces! God help me! Now, I'm really not gonna look like my real biological age!

Hehe...I was quite surprised to see our latest entry from our beloved Leia. Very much anticipated and long-awaited indeed! It was actually(believe it or not) my first time ever, reading her beautiful English literature capabilities. It really sounded like one of those paragraphs that comes out from novels. You should write one too Leia!

Comelnye Natrah!!! So cute! Uncle Syaz tak dapat nak cium...jauh sangat. Thanks to Paan for posting the debut photo of Natrah in the blog. Can't help thinking that i've been spending quite a lot of time with Seri during her 9 months of pregnancy with Natrah and unfortunately could only spend a few days of her arrival in this world before my departure...

This morning after my eventful drenching nitesweats, SitiK called. So sorry Siti, was not in my best-self...was not mentally competent. InsyaAllah, the first horrendous trimester will be over...plenty of rest and food too ok? Wish that I could be there to cook you anything you want!

Wah...today i was quite busy. Ema called earlier. Felt so appreciated today:) Thank you everybody. Keep it up. By the way, she was complaning of you, MAS!

MAS!MAS!MAS!WHERE ARE YOU MAS!DAH MAKAN BELUM MAS?!

Gonna pen-off now. Getting sleepy now. Take care everybody!

I practically never submitted an entry in the blog, did i? pure laziness, i suppose. Am currently bored out of my skull and thought i might as well bore u guys with my latest endeavours before i get under my sheets and lull off to dreamland. Oh before that i'd like to say to Syaz tersayang, i havent forgotten u sweetie, but u know how lousy i am in keeping in touch! Honza and i will give u a ring over the weekend 'kay?



Letsee...what to talk about... maybe my trip to my husband's hometown? not my first, been there twice before we were married, met his parents, but never as his wife, which, let me tell u, makes a huge difference in my self-confidence!
So, off to Brno, Czech Republic i went on the week before last. The weather was a stark difference to almost-autumn ireland. The sun was still shining in its glory, the temp was still in the high 20's. Stayed at Panda's, in H's old room when he was living with Panda. We visited my mom-in-law almost everyday, which was nice, honestly! hehe, cuz- even though i still can't have a full decent conversation with her without using H as an interpreter- i feel so much more familiar and comfortable with her presence now. It's also my first time meeting H's youngest bro Tomas, who's really nice but kinda on the quiet side and obviously the apple of his brother's eyes!
One thing i regret is not taking pictures at Bohutice(pronounced bow-hoo-tchit-say, wpuld u believe it). it's H's dad hometown, out in the countryside, we went to what is considered the family's summer house now, but was actually the home of H's late paternal grandparents. the house has such a unique design which i like, but could use some sprucing up. There is a huge land in the back with nectarine, pear and apple trees (the apples are abundant and absolutely delicious!) and also grapevines (the grapes are divine too!) crawling across the fences. There is a small patch of land with tomatoes and peppers grown too. i kept thinking of Syaz and Sri and how they would absolutely enjoy this place. H and Tom did some manly job of cutting the grass in the land hehe, while i went round lazily barefoot plucking apples and grapes into a basket( well to be honest, half of my workload ended up in my mouth). Then the boys did a bit of slacklining where at one point Tom had an unfortunate accident involving the slackline and his family jewels hehehehe....then we packed up and to the train back into the city.
When H mentioned one night that we would be going to the pub to meet up with his friends, i groaned inwardly, as i imagine this noisy packed smoky irish-like pub.
to my delightful surprise a pub here is almost like a cafe..well it probably is too coz they do serve coffee. and the coffee they serve here are truly gourmet, there r probably 6 different types of espresso!,and all priced under 2euros! We sat round a table under an umbrella outside the pub, and i got to know H's friends better than the last time i met them.
we went to see H's dad one afternoon where i cooked lunch and we looked through old albums, as old as when H's dad was 5!
On the last night of my trip to Brno, we went to a BBQ at on of H's friend's. They were so sweet to buy a brand new grill, the bbq was pork-free, and Panda grilled some fish for us which were perfect!
hahahaha...i'd like to write more, but damn this is long! i need to sleep, so kore next time round!!! nitey nite!

Nattie making her debut!

at last it worked!!! this is the 5th times and perseverance do pay off at the end. well i bet lots of people been wondering when Natrah will make her photo debut in our blog. unlike her forever infamous brother afiq who by the way had hundreds of pictures featured here she has none. i guess it's time for her to catch up. since her parents probably busy enough juggling their works and raising these 2 kids who i doubt having any extra time to spend in front of the computer so i took the liberty to post up Nattie most recent photo taken only yesterday in the arms of her opah at the airport before she left for Malaysia. so those guys at home in particular here goes, Alynna Natrah.......

ain't she a cutie!!!!!

damn now i can't sleep

It’s almost 3 am but my eyes are still wide open as if it were 1 o’clock in the afternoon. Probably the delayed caffeine effect from a cup of coffee I had earlier at Leia’s maybe about 5 hours ago. Perhaps I might have caught Ema’s insomnia bug. I couldn’t wait to get home on the way back from a weekend in Cork yet again just to be rushing to my bed, quite to my surprise I just couldn’t bring my eyes to sleep when I was home. So here I am, blogging, to tell you the truth I have no idea what I want to write at this very moment, nevertheless I just let my thought flowing without forcing too much looking for stuff to talk about.

I did some work last week, finally for a change. I really liked it, the place, the bosses and the environment despite a little painful experience I encountered with one the colleagues. It amazed me how some people who I met throughout my 28 years of living had really terrible attitudes and temperaments that left me wishing how I would like to never meet these people in the first place and to never ever meet them in the future. Well I guess there always going to be people like this anywhere. I’m talking about people who are manipulative, dishonest, rude, inconsiderate and selfish. Those with virtues the complete opposite to these unfortunately always end up as the victims. Since it’s a team effort, the defects somehow blinded by the good outcomes owing to extra hard work by the good team members compensating the incompetent ones. How I loathe to this, the injustice and unfairness of it all. To our bosses’ eyes everything is in order. The baddies got away and still manage to get a job in the next job cycle. What else can I do? How I wish these people would just make a mistake and learn their lessons. I don’t want to get into any details as to what should happen to these people but just so you know I’m really bitter and really furious over this. To hell with them.

Anyway I managed to grab some perspectives after getting a little bit worked up over this matter. The week flew rather swiftly and next thing I know people were all being nice and saying goodbyes to me. That’s nice, ain’t got no complaint about that. At the same time I just realized this week in particular that how I miss my job. I keep giving out that I hate this profession I landed myself on but truth is when I asked myself what else would I like to do, I simply cannot find the answer. As to whether I’d be happy doing something else again who knows? Maybe I would or maybe I wouldn’t. Would I risk everything to find the answer to these questions, I don’t think I would be that courageous or have the guts to venture into something uncertain like that. Risky business indeed. Perhaps I have been so tuned into medicine since you know, 6 years of medical school and the subsequent 4 years into the job surrounded by no one else but medical colleagues I have become like institutionalized inmates for being in prison for too long that would have trouble even to imagine how their lives would be outside the walls. I guess I’m destined for this. I’m too far ahead to go back and kind of too late to start anew. Looks like I’m going to be here for quite some time and I’d better make the most of it. I just hope there’ll be light at the end of this really long tunnel.
I came to Cork on last Saturday just passed, since Sri’s mom was leaving for home on Sunday I guess I’d better make an appearance after all I had been to the house one too often that I started to feel like she is apart of the gang and I can’t let her go home without saying goodbye. We had the usual feast on that night, the dishes were fantastic and although there were sushis and other Japanese cuisines on the menu it still the rice and ayam masak merah with kari kepala ikan I was after. Malay foods are the best!!!! Nothing much out of the ordinary happened over the next day, we went to the airport and Mahon Point after that. Whilst the others shopping, the Frantas, Mas and me went to watch The Night Listener at the movies. It was borderline between crap and just ok movie. I like Toni Collette and I always find her as such a good actress, she was good in this. I was hoping for something big for its finish but the end made the movie rather flat and bleak. Nonetheless the storyline was interesting. I came home later which was only a few hours ago. I’m feeling tired which is quite unusual for me considering the magnitude of the activities I’ve done over the past days, usually it takes more to make me feel beat like this but still I couldn’t sleep. I guess I’d better leave it here and hopefully not too long from now I would be dreaming like everyone else at this hour.

Gambar

awwwww.......

pakcik jual nasi lemak

bee hives

aqilah and the bee

afiq in dingle

emma asked me to take this photo for paan

makan mangga at R&R sungai perak

veranda apartment

Ina

atas katil

posing for the camera

the grooms side

makan ikan pari bakar

on the way to penang ( stop at R&R)

i wasn't sure, was it a bomb or tersesat?

finally emma made her way across london bridge

jumpe Queeny

Greetings from Kube Keghie:)

Assalamualaikum everybody!!!


Sorry, it’s been a while since I last posted my entry in the blog. Been quite busy in Kubang Kerian. Starting today for 3 days, the university held campus’s expo-suppose to be the event of the year. Guess what? You guys are sooo not gonna believe this! I’m going to be the MC for the closing ceremony this Saturday. So nerve-wrecking! I thought at first, coming to USM, gonna keep a low-profile. Looked like it’s the other way around! I suppose, in a way, it’s good that I kept myself busy with activities. If not, I’ll just be lying down in my room, dreading my ill-luck, stranded in the middle of nowhere, with all my DEAR FRIENDS so far away…I MISS YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH!!!It’s killing me inside…don’t know when we’re gonna meet again? I wonder how Afiq and Natrah looks like now? Sri and her new busy career woman life.

Hey, I heard Siti’s pregnant? Now that Syaz and Ema’s gone, she decided to get herself pregnant by Mosh! Haha!!!Sorry, just kiddingJ congratulations Siti and Mosh. So sad that I couldn’t be there when the time comes…now, we’ll just wait for leia’s turn..heheJ

LEIA!!!!how come news from you are so scarce? Practically non-existent…looks like marriage life really agrees with you girl! Keepin’ yourself busy? Last I heard, you’re in Chech Republic? Calling here and there waking people up with the latest update from Bikroy. Wow, Bikroy even called me! I was in Pasir Mas doing my community research project. Really busy, really scorching hot, sweating like mad, mental and physical exhaustion to tell you the truth! I’m the leader of my group. One group for a Mukim (Mukim Kubang Gatal haha!). one mukim has got 11 kampungs. Altogether, 900 houses. Gotta tag all houses, do random sampling of 120 houses and survey (questionnaire) each occupant in the houses.Aiyoo!!Can go crazy like this maa…We have to do 4 residencies in 2 years.

Yesterday was my sister’s (kakcik) birthday. Poor kakcik, everybody was too busy with catering. Nobody wished her happy birthday. Originally, I planned to return to Kajang, but couldn’t make it since I have all these responsibilities here. Will celebrate her birthday next week. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAKCIK!

PAAN, why you didn’t call back laaa yesterday? Could only talk for 10 minutes with you. That’s out-of-this-world when it comes to chatting with paan. Sorry paan, the rehearsal took forever last nite, finished at 1 am!Aiyoo…my voice is hoarse already.

Mmm…I heard from Paan, Ema is in HUSM. Please send my regard to your lovely family ok Ema, if you’re reading this. Do call me if you have the time. Just to say hello. (well, it’s only normal that my friends has to call me because I have no credit, haha!)

MAS! MAS! MAS! What’s the news MAS? You must be so god damn busy now! Goin’ crazy? Not Yet? It’s ok..it will be over soon, then comes the real world for you. Then, I hope you won’t be too busy to keep in touch. My dear friend…study hard ok?

Oh no, it’s raining outside! Haven’t showered yet, haven’t prayed yet. Gonna be late for opening ceremony of expo. Higher education minister’s gonna be the vvip. Aiyooo…you guys wouldn’t believe the lengthy protocols that’s needed to be followed for these army of vvip’s. I’m learning…I’m learning…

Till the next…MISS YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!

after london and another goodbye

Yip, I finally managed to get my entry posted in this blog, I mean the London trip entry. You had no idea how painful it was when you typed everything and uploaded some pictures just to find out it all gone in a split second after you hit the publish entry icon due to some stupid server gone wacko again
“that’s it! I had enough with this crap” so I said to myself and simply turn off the computer, sulking. It’s funny though that later that day I saw my computer sat on the bed in it’s off state and I had this feeling as if it called me to blog again. As usual not having any strong willpower I gave in and blogged again. Human, never learns the lesson.

After coming back from London, to my beloved cassa and bed, how glad I was to finally be at home again. Nevertheless I missed the fun and the hectic moments we had. If London was alcohol I would’ve been ventilated in ICU for the worst DT. Yeah it was that bad. Not that I appreciate the calmness and silence after all the hustle and bustle Ema and Mas had caused, as well as London, the city that seem to never has its rest. I craved for company. Boy I swear I could hear voices in the house, ain’t a good sign at all. Thought I was going ga-ga but turned out it was my next door neighbour had a little party next door. Phew! What a relief.

Mas has gone back for the next 2 months at least and the fact that Ema would follow suit in a few weeks only this time she won’t be coming back made me realized how things would completely change. With the thought I decided it would be better for me to spend some time down in Cork besides I got no job lined up for me anyway. I came to Cork and stayed there for almost 10 days I think, the details a bit blurry to me. Felt like everyday was Sunday, I lodged at Uncle and Agee’s, E and Ariri’s, Abe and Sri’s as well as CT and Mosh’s houses, not in that order by the way. It was more fun as it turned out that E was on her a week break and so did CT the week after that. We got to spend time together and helped out Ema packed her stuff. Not that I helped a lot since she got everything covered according to her but as you probably have known, Ema. Something bound to happen. I was right, when we were in the movies to see Cars, the animated movie, she just realized that it was Wednesday and she had one more day left before all her stuff would be collected for shipping. All along she thought it was Tuesday and she hadn’t completely packed everything. Poor girl she didn’t go anywhere the next day tried to get things done and eventually she did with a little help from us.

The weekend before that, we had Afiq’s second birthday celebration. This year his turning 2 was a bit earlier than usual owing to Ema’s departure the weekend after. Lia and Honza left on the same day as Ema for their wedding reception at home, another reason to push the party earlier while important people were still around. We had so many parties in the past months and this one was no different. Lots of foods and familiar faces and kids only this time there were too many kids around. Gosh they were everywhere, scared to move around with fear I might step over them. Well it wasn’t that bad at all but it was bad when they start crying. That was the time I was really, really glad that I have no kids of my own, don’t get me wrong I love kids but not so much when they were too many of them around and turn into these mischievous and can’t-stay-still-for –a- second kinda rascal creatures. nevertheless they were the essence of that party. The birthday boy was tired and sleepy when it came to blowing his candles, other kids were happy enough to take his place instead. During the presents opening later that afternoon, it seemed like the adults were more excited than afiq himself especially Lia J admit it! Well I too was excited probably for lack of this kinda stuff when I was a kid myself. the fact that afiq preferred The Incredibles DVD which was my gift by the way had made my day.


On the very same evening we threw a little farewell party for Ema, another surprise farewell party. Yeah she seemed surprised alright and I could see some tears welled from some eyes just that they weren’t mine. There were a lot of silence I noticed. I felt like it was yesterday we were at the very same spot preparing for our goodbyes to Syaz. This time another farewell to one person that fairly to say had been the centre in a lot of our conversations, not all of them bad most of them entertaining J as well as the glue that keep us together in most occasions. This is true as I feel after she left, Cork suddenly a little bare of fun. The thing is that the most lively persons to me in Cork were gone, yes they are Syaz and Ema. It was ironic how fate made them both leaving us in such a short time in between them that I felt like they left at the same time. I for once haven’t recovered from the first grieving and now I have another one waiting in line. Life can be really cruel sometime. Well that just me being selfish. Life goes on, we meet, we befriend, we laugh, we cry then we apart. A typical cycle in life, so I kept telling myself.


In exactly a week after that, pretty much the same faces as in the week before at the party came together at the airport to bid our farewell to Ema. Thankfully Lia and Honza were on the same plane as her which certainly helped the situation. At least she had company all the way home. Honestly it déjà vu all over again to me. I was sad, yes losing a close friend who isn’t? Besides this wasn’t the end of everything, with the advent of communication technology, we run out of excuses not to keep in touch unless of course you run out call credit or internet server is down. Watching them left made me anxious for my turn to step over the threshold to the departure lounge. What would I feel knowing that I have a one way ticket in my hand, after a decade of living my life away from home and now I’m coming back for good. It scary as it is exciting. New life, new beginning, gosh I can’t wait. Until then I hope the guys that preceded me found the better life than here and I can’t wait to meet them and hang out again like old times.

Si COMEL dah beranak

Pengumuman.. kucing aku Si COmel dah beranak 30-Aug-2006


Tengoklah gambar sebelah ni... tension aku dia beranak dalam toilet kat bawah.... atas carpet pulak tu....!!!!!

Ni citenya.... aku dah check tengok kat website yang kata kucing bunting 60 - 70 hari, so aku agak-agaklah maybe last week dia beranak. So aku preparelah tempat untuk dia beranak, 2 tempat laginya... siap dengan kotak, paper + kain gitu....

Pastu Monday malam (29Aug) tu dia mcam tak keruan... aku biasalah still kat depan komputer then bini aku kat depan tv... tetiba je aku dengar macam bunyi anak kucing.... aku dah agak dah sah Comel beranak kat bawah ni... intai2 nasib baiklah tak beranak kat ruang tamu (memang tempat tu dia takut pun nak masuk)... tapi kat dalam toilet atas carpet... hishhhhhh!!!! geram gak aku, dah elok2 aku prepare tempat untuk dia... kat atas carpet gak dia beranak...

Tapi yang bestnya dalam pukul 1 pagi (30Aug), kitaorg nak naik tidur. Masa tu baru 2 ekor yang keluar... lama gak progress dia... first yang keluar tu dalam pukul 10 lebih kot... kitaorg bangun pagi esok nya tengok2 WOW ..... 7 ekor.... tak pernah aku tengok kucing beranak lebih dari 6 ekor... tapi 2 ekor tu dah keras (mampus...) so yang hidup just 5 ekor, then adalak 2 kantong yang dalam nya pun dah cukup sifat kitten (maybe yang tu tak develop ngan sempurna kot)... cuba korang kira kalau lah semua nya selamat hidup... 5 + 2+ 2 = 9 ekor.... dashyat nya!!!

Ni gambar Comel beranak lagi kat dalam fotopages aku : http://desaputra.fotopages.com

(tapi sape yang geli nak tengok kucing mampus baik tak yah tengok....)

Nilah cite si COMEL aku.....

'BUBBLES' dalam kenangan

Selamat Tinggal buat 'Bubbles'.... (2004 - 2006),





Bukan apa.. terasalak nak letak ni, yelah time aku baru datang sini dulu banyak sangat aku dengar cite tang si bubbles ni.... yang buat Syaz menjerit... melompat.... teman buat korang tak boleh duduk diam.... calar sana, calar sini... Then yang penting ibu ke si Comel aku kat rumah ni.

" we're goin to london, to buy heat magazine" sing it!!

I guess it has been more than a month since I wrote anything in this blog, partially intended while the rest just being plain lazy. I thought by keeping myself rather silent others would feel compelled to jot something here as our past time reading while waiting for other webpage fully downloaded. It was quite a month I must say. I don’t know where to begin. I guess a little bit about my trip to London wouldn’t hurt. I know, I know you guys have heard it a thousand times before and from me alone but come on, it was a good trip. Well it started out when my passport need a renewal, actually it won’t expire until end of august but the thing is, I need to extend my permit by early july and I doubt the immigration would be happy to see my passport due to expire in a month, since I was warned last year for being a couple months late for the registration I need to get it done rather early this year or I would be in the deported list, might save me some money for the ticket. There it goes, I gotta renew my passport, hey we got our embassy here up in Dublin right? Guess what it takes up to 3 months for renewal of passport and it’s not even guaranteed it will get done within those periods, wouldn’t it better to say it may take indefinite length of time instead giving me some false hope I might get lucky it’s issued within 3 months? But I found out if I come to London the whole thing would take only 1 whole day provided I get there really early in the morning. Okay, the whole things got me confused, déjà vu all over again like in my add maths class with Miss Chong, jeez those geometry problem not really my strong point in maths! How come it takes at least 90 days longer for the passport done here in Dublin than it is in London while there is daily flights to London from a couple of different cities in Ireland which only takes an hour roughly, mind you there very few Malaysian in Ireland compared to the UK and the embassy office opens at 9 am till 1 pm. I just don’t get that. anyone?

Ok then as a result I decided to cross the channel to renew my passport, the very reason of this trip. Then some people would like to tag along to have some fun for that weekend, the idea was to get there on Saturday and along with having fun then on Monday I shall go to HiCom for my passport. That was even better!!! We all got excited and everyone seemed to want to go, I got more excited which means I got so close to becoming manic. At the end only 3 people were going including me. Yeah so much for the excitement. Anyway I joined ema and mas on Saturday which was a day after they got to London. I was home for less than 12 hours that Friday night since I drove back from Navan that evening and got to limerick around 10 pm. My flight was at 7 or maybe 8 am. I was pretty exhausted on that Saturday morning and how I wish I didn’t have to leave for London. My day couldn’t get any worse when I discovered my luggage didn't quite make it to the plane and was left behind in Shannon airport instead, after almost 45 minutes waiting by the baggage carousel like a weirdo, I always feel like that, when you were the only one standing next to the baggage reclaim and there is no more luggages on the belt or other people but you, I feel like I’m lonely and desperate in that situation, I know it sad or even pathetic but I can’t help it. For the record it wasn’t my idea to put the bag into the cargo in the first place, it was that clerk in check-in counter, she looked like her name could be orla or maybe aine or maybe mary, what I’m trying to say it, if you bumped into her in the daytime in flea market in Mersing or Bentong you know she’s irish.
“why don’t you leave the bag in the cargo would be easier for you”
easier my ass!! Thank god I got the important stuffs with me i.e my passport, tickets, phone and MP3 player. My wallet’s pretty much the resident of my back pocket, so not worried about that.

I caught up with the remaining team member in Bayswater tube station, went for a walk in Portobello market, boy! What a walk, I couldn’t see why these 2 guys got so excited about this place, looks like Oliver Plunkett street to me only longer, wider road and yes much much better looking people around. I guess I was a bit worried about my luggage, I got a bit cranky actually, felt like this was an omen for how bad this trip was going to be, kept telling myself I don’t believe in that kinda crap. The weather was so hot, that didn’t help either. things got so much better when we got to Nahar’s café. Finally, malay food and typical Malaysian style restaurant, sempoi but got some kicks! I was so happy, you know me and my Malay foods. suddenly I got this feeling that this gonna be such an awesome holiday. Indeed it was!!!!

I didn’t remember much about what we did for the rest of the day but I got my luggage that evening, it practically delivered straight to me as I was standing by the reception of the hotel we stayed in when this guy walked in towards me carrying a very familiar bag and that when I exclaimed that was my bag. Kinda embarrassing in hind sight really who cares I got my bag, the day finally picked up. Went to Mawar restaurant that night for dinner, at last I managed to set my foot in this place. There was another story about this restaurant, really funny but I’m not gonna tell it for the moment. It was full and there was a live performance by this talented singer who later I found out to be Art Fazil, singer songwriter I knew back in the years at home. Beautiful voice, good quite old malay songs delivered nicely with his style of singing while plucking his guitar. It was more than what I bargained for early at this trip. I enjoyed the night greatly. Later we went to see the lake house in Leicester square where the other two spent halftime of the show napping, luckily none of them snored

The next day we went touring around London, we even took the touring bus. I was too tired in the middle of it but Mas practically dragged us to finish the tour. He insisted on going to this church which I couldn’t even remember the name of it for a couple of pictures outside the place. I had fun though especially when walking along Thames river, stopped by for coffee along the way. Enjoyed every second of it and we were so loud and laughed all the time, giggling like a couple of stoned tourists, stoned asian tourists. Sang our theme song taken from Heat magazine commercial
“we’re going to London to buy heat magazine!”
we were like crazy but fun people.

We found Melati restaurant, another place serving a mixture of Indonesian and Malaysian cuisines somewhere near Leicester square. It was quite a search, stopped by an internet café and we got the map on how to get there. Boy it was worth it, we were famish. We ordered a number of dishes and told by the waitress that it would be more than enough for the 3 of us, she practically advised us not to order anymore dishes. That’s embarrassing, I kept thinking I should’ve just ordered that sambal goreng with tempe regardless what she thought about us, hell we paid every penny of it. The waitress couldn’t be more wrong as we ate every single dishes clean. Nothing but empty plates on the table at the end. I told you guys we were starving. Excellent foods I must say. So we went back to the hotel and fell asleep right away.

Finally came Monday, gotta do what I was here for, managed to get to the immigration office quite early in the morning. Even then I had to wait for about 2 hours before called in to the counter, not complaining since sick people have to wait even much longer than that at the hospital before being seen. Nothing much happened from the whole process nevertheless the reception at the front counter was somewhat unwelcoming to certain people. We had to be sorted at the front counter according to whatever immigration business that brought us there. It struck me though that there weren’t any posted instructions or at least signs for us once we got there, the only thing was a small triangular folded worn yellow manila card on the desk that faced slightly towards the officer’s direction with this written on it
“ sila daftarkan nama anda dalam buku pendaftaran”
in MALAY, didn’t remember if there was any arrow on that card pointed to the book which lying wide open on the desk. Okay I did as it said while scanning around for anymore instructions, none. Apparently once you step in to the office, register your name and details including your id number with address then sit down until your name is called, then the officer will deal with you accordingly and issued your turn number. At last I grasped the concept. The officer was a lady about at her late 40’s who was very nice to me, soft spoken and talked even gentler to me once found out about my profession. Ok I can live with that and everything basically done in less than 5 min, filled in the form she gave me and handed it back to her, gave me my number while going through the checklists. I got everything ready so I was asked to sit down waiting for my turn to be called. Ema and Mas preferred to wait outside in the hall, there was a small room right across the office which located at the basement of the embassy building that was converted into a small canteen. Ready cooked meal for breakfast were sold here I mean malay breakfast meal they even have teh tarik! Imagine. They wanted to wait for me before getting some breakfast little they knew it wouldn’t be until 2 hours later. Since it took quite a wait, those 2 guys decided to stay in the waiting room, the same room as the front desk officer lady. Once I finished the whole thing, met them outside looking irritated and annoyed, I knew it, they were hungry and the long wait definitely didn’t help. Turned out that they were so pissed off at the counter lady, apparently she was so obnoxious to people after I left, gave out and easily got worked up when people kept asking her questions. I didn’t blame them, there were nothing to guide or tell them what to do, no there was one, yup but in malay language and in 20 x10 cm manilla card that wasn’t even put to face towards the waiting people. How many non-malays can speak fluent malay these days especially here in the UK? Come on be practical and I don’t think only Malaysians come to deal with them at this office, they need to make it clear to visitors if they don’t want to get disturbed while dealing with others and subsequently get all annoyed and start yelling to everyone. It was not fair, not all professional as well as embarrassing to our country. The lady literally gave out and rude to those unfortunate people and had the nerve to complain loudly that these people were inconsiderate. I’m sure she lives in the UK long enough to notice how friendly and professional people can be when dealing at the counter. What I was trying to say is that I was glad that Honza wasn’t there to witness such an embarrassment to our country which by the way allegedly enriched with gentleness and politeness as part of our culture. Anyway, we had our rather pricey nasi lemak and off we went to London Eye.

It became a bit cloudy when we got to London Eye, a little bit of drizzle which later died out once we were airborne in one of those shuttles. The whole ride took like 40 minutes, thank god there were 3 of us otherwise it would’ve been one of the most boring rides ever, yeah it was all excited when you were about to get into the capsule but it got old pretty soon after the wheel started to turn. There’s nothing much else different to see after the first 10 minutes so we kept ourselves busy with taking our pictures, boy busy we were then as if no one else were inside the shuttle but us. Was fun anyway then we parted ways as I had to collect my passport later that evening while Ema on the way back to Cork. Mas came with her to the train station en route to Standsted for her flight. Mas and I later met up in Leicester square, we bought tickets to see some West End shows. Considering how late we were at the time we settled with a musical inspired by Queens songs – we will rock you. Indeed it rocked me very well! Great show and I had great fun, enjoyed every minute of it, boy they were talented! I left with queens songs kept playing over and over in my head.

Tuesday was our last day here, Mas and I had flights to catch to our separate destinations later that evening, home as in Malaysia for Mas (lucky bastard!) and home as in Limerick for me. We took the tube to Museum of Natural History and spent the morning there, nice place to go and learn too hahahah, well I liked it, from dinosours to mammals, from human physiology including reproductive systems (always an interesting subject I might add) to halides and meteorites. Great place to bring along your kids. Right after that we had our lunch in Nahar’s again and off to the airport. By 7 pm I left Mas on his own wondering for another few hours before his flight home in his selipar jepun!!! So that was it, the trip was definitely one that hard to get over with and certainly an unforgettable one. It was pleasure and business very well mixed c'ya know whak a mean!

cork

ARGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aku sooooooooooooo tak sangka aku dah balik!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEUWWWWWWW!!!! aku dah balik!!!!!!!!!!!

seriously aku soooo-lah punyer tak sangka aku dah balik semula ke cork. Two months aku kat malaysia rasa cam tak puas!!!. Time flies really REALLY fast.

Semalam aku sampai dalam pukul 130 pagi kot kat rumah, flight delayed twice! Satu kat KL and satulagi kat LHR. Aku sampai nak muntah muntah darah duk dalam kapal terbang, dahlah makanan sikit, pastuh tak sedap.

Time aku naik kapal terbang Mas aku tak rasa sangat yang aku nak balik ke ireland. Tapi time aku masuk jer terminal 1, tempat tunggu right before naik aer lingus, terus aku rasa loya-loya nak muntah. BARU Aku sedar rupa2nyer aku dah nak ke cork. The sight of mamat-mamat and minah irish yang bukan sahaja obes tetapi separa terbakar dan kelihatan seperti udang galah terus buat aku rasa nak pitam.

Naik jer kapal terbang aerlingus, aku dah rase lemah lemah lutut, bile tengok pramugari irish yang macam tak mandi 3 hari. Berbeza dengan pramugari MAS yang muda-muda , body still solid serta kemas dan professional, aerlingus nyer pramugari macam nurse kat south infirmary or CUH. At least MAS nyer pramugari reti jugaklah nak minyakkan rambut, nie aerlingus-nyer macam akak-akak joyah kat pasar besar melaka. and one thing aku sedar pramugari aerlingus sume macam mak-mak-kan? ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! PENING!!!!

nasib aku tak berhenti situ sahaja bile naik jer teksi, OMG, pakcik tuh nye slang, sangatlah west-cork, dia pulak ajak berborak, terpaksalah-layan

sampai rumah , terus aku collapse!

Hang Tuah Jaya

Been ages since I last posted anything kat dalam blog nie, finally after about a month kat mesia nie, aku berhasrat semula untuk memblogkan kisah hidup aku nie. Well anyways , been bout a month kat sinie hasn’t done any good to my figure, ‘ranting’ pokok still I am, and obviously the wash –board abs are still there ( self-praise). Well anyways , tadi pagi aku pergilah ke sebuah kedai roti canai , close to the the General Hospital for breakfast, makan roti canailah kata kan ( very emma, I KNOW) , since it was morning, jadinyer tempat tuh penuh lah dengan kaki-tangan hospital, bukan saja doctor, malah nurse-nurse, student2 nursing , serta pesakit-pesakit disamping juga dengan mereka-mereka yang bukan kaki-tangan hospital seperti aku nie ( aka saje nak menyebuk) . I was in the shop about 800am , lepas antar adik aku ke sekolah. And by that time matahari dah obviously pancar-memancarlahkan, PEOPLE , yes ITS Hot!!!! While eating at the shop, your truly obviouslylah scanning mengscanninglahkan, manelah tau ada yang kenal ( by the way, I was with my mom). But what struck me was the blatant ignorance of these doctors and medical students regarding hygiene.

Wakakakakaka, habis-lah aku , belum ape-ape dah kutuk doctor kat mesia. WeLL anyways , let me continue on. It was 830am in the morning, at a warung about 2 KM away from the hospital, on a hot morning and these people were brandishing their stethoscopes like it was their handphones. What I tak paham is why on earth would they want to bawak the stethoscope masuk kedai , and then ending by putting in on the table (yang semestinyerlah PENUH dengan god knows what type of bacterias!). On top of that, there was a few medical students, yang lagi best, masuk kedai tuh siap pakai lab coat lagi!!!! People , seriouslylah nasib baik yours truly was in control of myself ( read: well sedated with one roti canai and bowl of hot lontong!!!) , kalau aku lepas, mesti ketawa macam kena sawan babi hutan ( spasm-like laugh) , paling tidak pun hypermesis gravidarum terus kena ketidakseimbangan elektrolit ( trying to use Malays words). Well anyway, I tried to be as positive as possible in order to NOT make any wrong judgments, tapi tak boleh, dalam hati ini, adalah jugak perasaan marahkan.

Untuk pengentahuan you all , aku tulis blog nie berperingkat2, bukan dalam satu hari aku tulis bende nie. Anyway, kena-kena hari ini adalah Befday Syaz, so happy beday syaz. Mungkin time ko bace bende nie dah few days, may be few weeks after ko nyer befday, wakakakakka, sorrylah tak dapat nak buat surprise. Tapi tak per, nanti bile kiteorg ke Penang, nanti ko akan tau, itulah plannye. Dun worry, mungkin ko ingat aku tak ingat ko nyer befday, tapi aku ingat, saje jer nak buat2 tak ingat , so that lagi dramaticlah suprisenyer nanti………wakakakakakakA!

Well enough of that, on the other hand , on the way balik, sambil bawak kete, I was intrigued by a HUGE , and people by this I do mean HUGE sign welcoming drivers to HANG TUAH JAYA. Little did I know that the area I was living in , which was previously known as bukit baru has had a name change. As a whole it might be really-really a trivial thing. Tapi the sole reason that it irritate me was the HANG TUAH had a “JAYA” at the end of it. Of all names, dalam dunia ni they had to put a JAYA at the end, seriously speaking , at that moment , I felt like driving the car straight into the sign, bagi roboh, pecah ranap , hancus!!! Sib baiklah aku bawak kereta proton time tuh , a bit of risk assessment at that moment prevented me from doing so. Tak mahu lah aku masuk surat khabar the next day;

Imagine “ Student drives car into Hang Tuah Jaya Sign in a fit of Rage”

And somewhere in the middle of the article ,”…….ironically students name is also Jaya,’

Malu-lah jugakkan , well at least that is so much better then kene langgar dengar lori sampah kan……muahahahahahhaha!

Aku tak paham kenape-lah orang Malaysia nie seem , to be soooooooooooooo-lah interested dengan the name “Jaya”, it seems to be soooooo IN nowadays. I remember those days when Jaya seemed to be a very exclusive name (wekekekeke) , tetibe dah jadi tak exclusive dah. First there was Petaling Jaya, then Subang, Kelana, Damansara, Selayang Jaya’s . Suddenly after Putra and Cyber had Jaya attached to back of its names, sume rang berlumbe untuk menggunakan nama Jaya ini. Can you imagine , in 10 years time where everything will be known as Jaya. ARGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Imagine, Hang Li Po Jaya, Bentong Jaya or may be even Sungai Putat Jaya. Next you’ll get a wave of children being named with Jaya, almaklumlah , supaya berjaya kelak. You’ll get names like Sri Jaya , Emma Jaya, Shaz Jaya’s around. Again: argggggggggg!!!!!!!

Well enough of that trivial stuff, tak kemane, namun nasihat aku kepada mereka mereka yang ingin mengunakan nama jaya bagi anak-anak mereka, think first! …..wekekkekekekekekekek

Wakakakaka , well as you guys should know aku skrang tengah buat elektif, and baru habes 2 weeks of ONG ( that’s what they call here). Imagine talking to the pengurus sumber manusia of the hospital telling to go to the ONG department on the first day of my elektif. Nasib baiklah aku nie baik , tapi dalam hati nie nak termuntah-muntah aku ketawa, it went something like this ;

Pengurus sumber manusia : “okay, adik nak buat ONG yek”
ME : yes, kak , nak buat obs and gyni
PSM : oh, sebelum ni kat sane ada buat ONG yek”
Me: yes kak, dah buat , about 2 weeks obs and gynie’
PSM : okay, nanti akak call Head of deparment ONG

Mula-mula aku comfius lah jugak , wat the bloody hell was “ong”. Yang aku tau , Ong tuh name orang chinalah, tapi barulah aku paham yang ong tuh rupanya short for obs and gynae. WAKAKAKAKAKKAKA, jahat lah aku nie

Well anyways , my rotation was intresting, firstday aku dah banyak keje, almaklumlah, aku kat labor room. Tapi as a whole I was quite impressed with the whole facility, I must say that its almost in par or maybe better than the ones in Ireland, or Cork for that matter. May be because the hospital was a new hospital. Well anyway, LR Kat Malacca GH occupies like one whole wing. BEsar jugaklah! Attached to the LR was the OT maternity. The LR had 16 rooms. Before the LR the patients would daftar diri at the counter and to to the CDS for admissions and checkup before being let into the LR. Kalau cx tak cukup ripe , masuk ward dulu. Well anyways, in between my two weeks aku buat ONG, BANYAK JUGAKlah aku belajar! People can you imagine, 16 rooms kat LR tuh sorang HO and MO jer yang jaga. CDS lak , sorang jugak HO yang jaga , and sorang lagi HO stanby for OTM. So kalau hari yang sibuk like Mondays and Thursdays, bile ada antenatal clinic, kesian jugaklah HO sorang tuh yang jaga CDs. And bare in mind that patients yang dating ke LR bukan saja dari clinic GH , but also dari poliklinik,klinik swasta, hospital swasta, rumah, kampong, serta bomoh2 cabuk yang tak reti buat keje.. There were days in which the HO had to call back ups dari medical and other department to do the admissions sebab patient banyak. Aku ingatkan aku buat elektif nie macam cuti, mahulah, dari 830am sampailah ke about 530-630 aku ‘keje’. PENAT!Tuh pon HO siap ajak oncall lagi. The MO baik , suruh aku jaga 8 of the 16 LR , and 8 lagi HO jage. Hmm I bet nothing new to your guys anyw.

And YES people, now I know how it feels to WORK!!!!!! UWAAAAAA! Alkisahlah aku kene buat admissions , amik darah, bloods, amik consent laki untuk c sections , buat VE toksah cakaplah. Barulah aku tau nak buat VE nie kena ader kekuatan pada biceps jugaklah. On the first week , abes sakit-sakit jari and biceps aku coz buat VE and ARM. Tak masuk lagi inbetween nak r/v patients and anak lagi apa. On one of the days depa suruh aku buat epi’s, like banyak sangat sebab nurses tak de, kursus, sampai nak pecah belakang aku!. On top of that abes suara aku yang lunak nie pecah akibat menjerit-jerit nak suruh the moms teran. On the first day sempat lagilah aku cover-cover buat suara macho konon while conducting the births, tapi after few days tak larat lagi aku nak cover cover macho. Being blessed with vocal cords that could give parrots a race for their money,abes lah satu LR buleh dengar suara aku.

Imagine saying the same thing this like 50 times perday

AKAK, TERRRRANNN KAK!
AKAK , jangan teram kat muka kak, TERAN kat perut
AKAk, teram macam nak BERAK
Aiiya, Amoi, Lu teran salah OO, TERAM macam mau PANGSAI ( berak in Chinese)
AKAK Sikit LAGI, kuat semangat , bile sakit TERRANNNNNN!
AKAK cepat Terannnn, saya nak kena Buasir dah nie suruh akak Teran….

Again nothing new I bet….especially 4 you siti, now I know kenape kau salu letih siti…

Once I even said something like

“AKAK, ishhhh! Jangan buat susah keje saya , teran sajalah akak”
Sister kat sebelah aku was like, wah garang jugaklah doctor nie , tapi takper bagus, cam gitulah!

----dalam hati (I was like, wah garang jugaklah aku nie , macam MO pulak)


Ps: by the way, the nurses at the LR call me Dr, walaupun aku dah ckp berkali2 aku bukan Dr. TAPI STUDENT. Alasan depa , senang nak panggil . aku pun ape lagilah katakan.

But I must say that all and all I did enjoy the chaotic-ness of the LR. Especially when you have HO , MO and nurses yang sekepala , abes pecah satu labor room ketawa sampai pecah perut. Alkisahnya, yours truly pon banyaklah jugak peminatkan , esp dikalangan nurse2, ada yang nak buat anak angkatlah, ada yang nak buat menantulah, rimas –rimas kenkadang. Tapi obviouslylah , kedudukan aku digunakan dengan sepenuhnya, supaya tiap-tiap kali lunch, aku makan free! hahaha

Well anyways, I must say that the London experience is still fresh in my mind , sampai tak nak mengaku orang CORK ( read: Cark). Had sooooooo much fun in London. I dunno whether we were the ones who were not ready to embrace London, or was London not ready to embrace 2.5 malays ( yours truly still insists that I’m part Ozzy , and a part Nippon) who were yaking like mad cows up and down the tubes. We were laughing our hearts out, sampai nak terspasm-spasm dibuatnya. Sakit perut dibuatnya. Di sebebkan pengalaman terlalu banyak, aku malas nak tulis, I bet emma and paan dah cite abes kat korang. So no pointlah aku nak cite balik. I bet same je. All in all I must say that lagu tema trip ‘We’re goin to londonnn, to buy Heat magazine’ still ader dalam pale otak aku. Not to forget Emma’s craze for Blue Eye and the Topman experience ( imagine pakai baju cabuk Dunnes stores jer pegi topman London, malu aku). AND Ya not to forget, Amazing Race cari kedai makanan melayu. Among the first few words paan uttered after touch down in London, was “ JOM Makan nak”. I must say walaupun kurang memahami serta kurang buleh appreciate the INTENSE craving for Malay food, aku bernasib baik, as my limited knowledge in psychiatry prepared me both physically and emotionally to come face to face with of paan’s episodes/attacks. ( hahahaha! Remember pusing Leicester Sq all the way to convent gardens looking for Melati?, siap masuk internet lagi).

Well okaylah, people that’s all for today, nanti aku update lagi yek………

feels good to be home

i was so happy when i saw the top of my apartment building from afar the other day on the way back from navan. been away for 2 weeks almost brought tears to my eyes when i stepped into apartment door, i mean i was just grateful to be here again, i don't know why i feel such melodramatic emotion. arghhh......first thing i do was lay down on my beloved couch and stretched my legs, felt so good after 3 hours behind the wheel. turned on the tv and just left it on while i fell asleep. i finally home.

there is so many things i have to now that i'm back. no more procrastination, but i can't help it. hate the thought of i wasn't here for some time, went out making a little money to live and i deserve some time off to chill out. the excuse seems justified and i fell for it everytime. like right now i should be cleaning my apartment and do my laundry etc. instead here i am blogging. i'm so lazy and have no will power against myself. ok now i'm being too hard on myself. ok i think i have one more lazy and non-productive day, by tomorrow everything HAVE to be running at full speed!!!! yes that's the plan.

nothing much happening in the recent weeks. i was working, working and i guess working some more. it was good and i enjoyed it for once. guess the new crowd in this hospital are more enthusiastic, fun and laid back i must say. good to be around them. going back there again is definitely on the card if they need me. hopefully it stays that way. i came across quite good cases actually in such short period of time. one in particular was this really nice lady. she is in her 80's but a really good 80ish year old lady, hard to come by someone better than her for her age. she had low rectal cancer, unfortunately for her it has gone into some other part of her body. she had radiotherapy as a palliative measure. she is so nice when you speak to her, really frail looking and i feel sorry for her. i've seen fair enough number of patients whose life were about to end but this one just blew me away. at a round one day we asked her what can we do for her, she said very politely
" i'd be happy if i could get my glasses so i can read again, haven't read for a while coz i can't see the writings" that was unexpected, and it moved me. this lady is dying and she wanted to read. there's nothing more that we could do for her, it saddened me all of a sudden. later i made sure she got her glasses, turned out she has cataract in both eyes which has gotten worse in this year, she ought to get those operated on a few weeks ago but now she is not fit for any surgery. this poor lady could't get her wish in the end. i was crushed wish i could do more.............

i thought by now that i've worked and seen so many adversity and misfortune on people you feel immune to it. of course we sympathize and empathize those unfortunate souls. i guess there'll be couple odd ones out that would touch you and move you deeply along the way and it reminds you how vulnerable and unpredictable humans lives are, then it occured to me what future holds for me and what is waiting for me down the road. we are so, so weak and we can only do so much despite our hi-tech medical advances and knowledge, after that we just hope and pray for the best. unknowingly this is what i was taught as a child the concept of faith in destiny or the qada' & qadar. that we have the free will to steer our lives in any way that we want but eventually it's up to this force whether we got there or otherwise - a.k.a god will.

I'm back again...

Salam to everybody,

Guess where I am right now? Yela...tentula kat office mak tolong buat catering. This is the only opportunity that I have to curi2 duduk and type out a little bit of wutever...

Last nite, Syaz, My big bro Tio, lil sis kakak,lil sis kakcik and lil bro Mil we all went to umah kakak Lin di hulu langat tu. Pehhh...jauh di hujung kampung! Mak dan ayah tak larat nak pegi sebab penat semalam tak tidur tunggu Syaz di stesen bas sampai 4 jam pastu buat catering plak tu! So, kitorang adik-beradik jela berkumpul( campur ngan anak2 kakak dan Lin)Riuh-rendah gakla umah Lin tu. Mula2 Syaz yg nak masak ngan kakcik, pastu berlaku kitchen takeover la plak oleh abang Syaz si Tio tu! Syaz duduk kat luar makan durian. Rumah kakak Lin banyak buah2an. best! Tapi lepas tu terus selsema. bersin tak berhenti,nasib baik tak demam arini! Hehe...dah lama tak makan durian le katakan...

Ok, sebelum Syaz lupa, Syaz nak minta tolong sangat2 kepada Lia dan Siti untuk hantar barang2 Syaz please. Syaz kat Kubang Kerian datang memang tangan kosongla, cuma bawa buku novel yang lia belikan haritu aje untuk perjalanan Syaz balik...alaa..buku The Saffron Kitchen tu.hehe...sibuk sangat tak sempat nak concentrate baca. Ni Syaz bagi alamat saudara Syaz di kelantan tu:

PKA Ahmad Safuan bin Mohd Mokhtar,
Pejabat Kesihatan Daerah,
17500 Tanah Merah,
Kelantan Darul Naim,
Malaysia.

No tel dia: 006-019-9918572

Mula2 Syaz nak kasi alamat umah dia tapi dia kata umah dia selalu takde orang siang ari. So, its better to give his office add. Thanks a lot Siti dan Leia.

Oklah, Syaz kena cari orang suruh makan makanan yang dah sejuk tu...till the next...